


who the fuck created this gc again

by macaroonmin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (jungkook makes an appearance a few times), Alternate Universe - Social Media, Anyways, Crack, Daddy Kink, Fluff, Humour, Kinda, M/M, MENTIONS OF OTHER GROUPS, Mentions of Crossdressing, So is Soonyoung, Updated regularly, and they're all dating each other, basically they're all youtubers, kim mingyu is whipped™, like a lil thing to sate ur humor needs, mentions of smut but no actual writing of it, mentions of spicy kinks n all that, sprinkles of writing in there, texting au, this is gonna be a shitshow y'all, this is just a snack, wow a new gc fic i'm so original
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 25,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macaroonmin/pseuds/macaroonmin
Summary: docum: anywaysdocum: onto why I made this gcdocum: we're all pretty popular youtubers so I thought we could help each other outdocum: ya knowdocum: with like,,,docum: collabs and vidsdocum: so yeahfuk off: oh that's cool





	1. the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> docum: anyways  
> docum: onto why I made this gc   
> docum: we're all pretty popular youtubers so I thought we could all become friends and help each other out  
> docum: ya know  
> docum: with like,,,,  
> docum: collabs and vids!!  
> docum: sound cool?

7:00 pm

_dk has added soonyoung, chan, jun, minghao, mingyu, wonwoo, seungcheol, hansol, seungkwan, jisoo, jeonghan, and jihoon to a group chat_

**dk** : welcome  
 **minghao** : new phone who dis  
 **jun** : lol u have such innocent names for us  
 **seungkwan** : ooh i just got an idea  
 **seungcheol** : uh oh  
 **seungkwan** : how about we have 30 seconds where we just change each other's names  
 **seungkwan** : ready set go

_seungkwan has changed jihoon's name to hi im boring and use correct grammar_

**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** oh it's on.

_hi im boring and use correct grammar has changed seungkwan's name to swollen seungkwan_

**swollen** **seungkwan** : how dare  
 **dk** : guys no

_wonwoo has changed dk's name to docum_

**docum** : not helping wonwoo  
 **wonwoo** : sorry couldn't help myself

_mingyu has changed wonwoo's name to wrist icicle ride dick bicycle_

**wrist** **icicle** **ride** **dick** **bicycle** : what the fuck mingyu  
 **mingyu** : u said u cuold relate to 'side to side' last night  
 **mingyu** : so ;)

_wrist icicle ride dick bicycle has changed mingyu's name to fuk off_

**fuk** **off** : ;((((((  
 **docum** : THWTS ENOUGH  
 **docum** : anyways  
 **docum** : onto why I made this gc  
 **docum** : we're all pretty popular youtubers so I thought we could all become friends and help each other out  
 **docum** : ya know  
 **docum** : with like,,,,  
 **docum** : collabs and vids!!  
 **docum** : sound cool?  
 **fuk** **off** : sounds awesome

12:31 am  
 **soonyoung** : wait wha did i miss something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short little experimental chapter that's like a "would you read this?" kinda thing
> 
> pls lmk if you would!


	2. the introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> docum: well  
> docum: that's everyone  
> chan: nice to meet you all! i can't wait to start working with you guys!

7:00 am

 **minghao** : i cant understan anythin  
**swollen seungkwan** : oh like we havent heard that one before  
**minghao** : 凸( ` ﾛ ´ )凸  
**minghao** : i cant believe i just arrived and now im bein attacced  
**jun** : guys guys chill

_jun has changed their name to xujun  
jun has changed minghao's name to wenminghao_

**xujun** : there  
**xujun** : fixed it  
**hansol** : ew disgusting  
**hansol** : love  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** Hansol, you're literally dating Seungkwan  
**swollen seungkwan** : yeah  
**hansol** : and?  
**swollen seungkwan** : ...  
**swollen seungkwan** : brb gotta go break up with my bf :)))))))  
**hansol** : wait no  
**docum** : um @ the rest of y'all  
**docum** : why u lurking  
**docum** : we can see u reading these messahes  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : messahes  
**soonyoung** : wot  
**jisoo** : oh no I was just at church  
**soonyoung** : u getup this early to go to church???  
**jisoo** : yeah  
**jisoo** : at least I'm being a good Christian child  
**soonyoung** : ...no  
**jisoo** : COME TO CHURCH I'VE ASKED THREE TIMES  
**soonyoung** : never  
**soonyoung** : you'll never get me with that christian shit  
**jisoo** : Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour can redeem your filthy, tainted soul  
**jeonghan** : joshua i love you and all but why must you do this to us  
**jisoo** : ;;  
**docum** : aight enough  
**docum** : some of us still don't know each otehr  
**docum** : so  
**docum** : introduce yourselves  
**soonyoung** : hello my name is soonyoung aka hoshi  
**soonyoung** : i do dance videos and daily vlogs on my channel

_wrist icicle ride dick bicycle has changed soonyoung's name to danceismylife_

**danceismylife** : fuck you, wonwoo  
**danceismylife** : im also 1/3 of the gag trio  
**hansol** : henlo  
**hansol** : i am hansol aka vernon  
**hansol** : call me either name  
**hansol** : um  
**hansol** : i make daily vidoes and challenges  
**hansol** : i also have a side channel for gaming  
**swollen seungkwan** : hello bitches  
**swollen seungkwan** : i am booyonce on youtube  
**swollen seungwan** : 2/3 of the iconic gag trio  
**swollen seungkwan** : and i do makeup tutorials  
**hansol** : ahem  
**swollen seungkwan** : oh yeah  
**swollen seungkwan** : vernon over there is my ex  
**hansol** : *ex tra cool boyfriend

_swollen seungkwan has changed hansol's name to bitch no_

**bitch no** : ...  
**bitch no** : aight  
**jeonghan** : hi i'm jeonghan  
**jeonghan** : i'm the dude with the long hair and i do fashion reviews/clothing hauls  
**jisoo** : hello!  
**jisoo** : I'm jisoo/joshua, and I do daily vlogs as well as covers  
**jisoo** : but if you ever come onto my channel there's no swearing allowed  
**danceismylife** : sweet jesus  
**jisoo** : don't use the lord's name in vain   
**xujun** : junhui, but call me jun  
**xujun** : dance covers and challenges  
**wenminghao** : im minghao or the8  
**wenminghao** : martial arts vids n stuff  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : wonwoo, gaming and regulr videos  
**fuk off** : hello! im mingyu  
**fuk off** : i have a cooking series! im also tall!

_wrist icicle ride dick bicycle has changed fuk off's name to lamppost™_

**xujun** : and when one comes on, the other follows  
**lamppost™** : what?  
**xujun** : nvm  
**chan** : hello!  
**chan** : sorry, had class  
**chan** : i'm dino on youtube, chan in here  
**chan** : i do my own choreographies!  
**danceismylife** : hes a pure child  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : hm  
**danceismylife** : *he's  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : better  
**swollen seungkwan** : Whipped

_danceismylife has changed swollen seungkwan's name to shut the fuck up_

**docum** : hi! i'm dk/seokmin, 3/3 of the gag trio  
**docum** : i make skits and films  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : name's jihoon/woozi, don't call me cute or I will bitch slap you into another dimension. I produce music.  
**docum** : seungcheol is at work, so ill introduce him!  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : *i'll  
**docum** : his youtube name is scoups, and he raps!  
**docum** : sometimes he helps jihoon with songs  
**docum** : well  
**docum** : that's everyone  
**chan** : nice to meet you all! i can't wait to start working with you guys!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm debating whether to put jihancheol in a poly relationship, idk if you guys would like that???
> 
> also requests are welcome! i need ideas ㅠㅠ
> 
> come yell at me on [tumblr](http://macaroonmin.tumblr.com)!


	3. the first collab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch no: who the fuck is blasting rap at 3 in the morning  
> seungcheol: sry  
> bitch no: can u maybe  
> bitch no: idk  
> bitch no: turn it down  
> seungcheol: bitch no

3:02 am

 **bitch no** : who the fuck is blasting rap at 3 in the morning  
**seungcheol** : sry  
**bitch no:** can u maybe  
**bitch no** : idk  
**bitch no** : turn it down  
**seungcheol** : bitch no  
**bitch no** : verry funny  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : verry  
**bitch no** : did u srsly just wake up to txt that  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : no, I was here the entire time  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I was just Lurking  
**bitch no** : y u up this early  
**bitch no** : writing?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : close  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : composing, actually  
**bitch no** : cool  
**bitch no** : also thx @ seungcheol  
**bitch no** : my earss can live to see another day  
**seungcheol** : no prob bob  
**bitch no** : its hansol  
**seungcheol** : yeah ik  
**bitch no** : ...  
**bitch no** : k great talk  
**bitch** **no** : im headin to bed now  
**bitch** **no** : u guys shuold probs sleep soon too  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : k but no promises

12:00 pm

 **wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : hey i'm filming a video today and i have no ideas  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : anyone want to collab?  
**shut the fuck up** : not unless i get to put makeup on you  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle:** ...  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycl** e: fine  
**shut the fuck up** : wait rlly?!  
**docum** : dang  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : yes  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle:** i'm that desparate for a video  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : i haven't uploaded in weeks  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : *desperate  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : um who's the bookworm again  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : um who's the one who knows all of your secrets again  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : u fucker don't spell check me  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : what can I say, I'm 

 **wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : and he just ruined it  
**shut the fuck up** : wonwoo hurry up and get your ass over here

12:00 am

 **shut the fuck up** : aaand it's up!  
**shut the fuck up** : we even used props  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : how did we go from filming a video for me to filming a video for you  
**shut the fuck up:** we'll just film your video tmr  
**xujun** : wow wonwoo you and mingyu are so cute  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : he wasn't even in the video?  
**xujun** : well ovbiously

_hi im boring and use correct grammar has changed xujun's name to ovbiously_

**ovbiously** : seriously?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : you all need to start using proper grammar  
**ovbiously** : ew  
**ovbiously** : anyways  
**ovbiously** : @ wonwoo u keep on mentioning mingyu when seungkwan's applying ur makeup  
**ovbiously** : it's cute  
**ovbiously** : "yeah, i'm dating mingyu" "he's really handsome, isn't he?" "well you can't ask me, I'll be biased"  
**ovbiously** : "oh yeah, mingyu taught me what mascara was"  
**ovbiously** : "mingyu and i went to the makeup store last saturday"  
**ovbiously** : like srsly seungkwan mentioned using the baking method for foundation on ur face and you said "oh, mingyu likes to bake"  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**lamppost™** : love u bby ♥  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : love you too~  
**jisoo** : that's really fucking cute - jeonghan and seungcheol  
**xuminghao** : y'all hangin out?  
**jisoo** : yeah, we're on a date  
**danceismylife** : WAIT SINCE WHEN  
**shut the fuck up** : BITXH IM SCREAMING  
**chan** : ( ﾟヮﾟ) really?  
**jisoo** : yeah  
**bitch no** : wHeN diD THis hApPen?  
**jisoo** : yesterday, when seungcheol came over to me and jeonghan's room  
**jisoo** : we've all known each other for quite a while now, and we all like each other  
**jisoo** : romantically  
**jisoo** : so we thought why not  
**shut the fuck up** : pics or it didnt happen  
 **jisoo** :

 **jisoo** : there  
**jisoo** : now let us have our date in peace  
**chan** : okay~  
**chan** : I'm happy for all of you!  
**chan** : (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧  
**jisoo** : thank you~  
**jisoo** : love you channie! - jeonghan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if your comment got deleted! ao3 glitched on me and deleted stuff :((((
> 
> pictures are not mine! all credits go to rightful owners!
> 
> to the people who don't play an instrument, the music joke was that the note was a and the symbol next to it is called natural so basically woozi was saying "i'm a natural"
> 
> i also made an edit of what seungkwan's youtube page would look like if you want to check it out: http://macaroonmin.tumblr.com/post/164421953919/youtuberseungkwan
> 
> thank you for all your lovely comments! they encourage me to keep writing~


	4. spill that tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan: wait...  
> chan: how much of a meatball is meat?  
> wenminghao: idk, probs like 90%  
> chan: ...so it's 10% balls?  
> jeonghan: chAN

10:00 am

 **chan** : wait...  
**chan** : how much of a meatball is meat?  
**wenminghao** : idk, probs like 90%  
**chan** : ...so it's 10% balls?  
**jeonghan** : chAN  
**bitch no** : 

**chan** : what??  
**jisoo** : chan...  
**chan** : what???? it's a good question :(  
**jeonghan** : chan, hun, thats not how it works  
**docum** : it is a good question, chan, dw  
**chan** : then what is the other 10 percent?  
**ovbiously** : someone pls help minghao's on the ground laughing and he's hyperventilating  
**ovbiously** : MINGAHO PLEASE

_hi im boring and use correct grammar has changed wenminghao's name to mingaho_

**ovbiously** : what did i do in my past life to deserve this  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : oh I'm sure you did nothing wrong in your past life  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : you messed up in this life  
**ovbiously** : ?  
**shut the fuck up** : spill that tea  
**jisoo** : what sins have they committed  
**jeonghan** : do tell  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : minghao and jun, stop fucking on the couch please  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : you think I don't notice, but there are stains and it smells like jizz every time you two do it  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I would like to sit down every once in a while  
**jeonghan** :

**shut the fuck up** : dang  
**shut the fuck up** : this tea piping hot  
**mingaho** : um  
**minghao** : uM  
**ovbiously** : uh just got a call my mom broke her spleen  
**ovbiously** : sry gotta dash  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : stOP FUCKING ON THE COUCH  
**chan** : this is funny and all but no one has answered my question  
**lamppost™** : actually, in Finnish cuisine, meatballs are called lihapullat (literally "meatbuns"). They are made with ground beef or a mix of ground beef and pork, or even with ground reindeer meat, mixed with breadcrumbs soaked in milk or viili, beef stock and finely chopped onions or alternatively, French onion soup readymix.  
**chan** : wow mingyu hyung  
**seungcheol** : how does he just know this  
  
_mingaho has changed lamppost™'s name to chef gyu_

 **wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : he doesn't know that, he just googled it  
**shut the fuck up** : EXPOSEDDDD  
**chef gyu** : why must u wrong me liek this  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : i'm sorry  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : i love you

_chan has changed chef gyu's name to chef poo_

**docum** : good one chan!  
**danceismylife** : HAHAHAHA LOL  
**danceismylife** : u should be a standup comedian, ur so funny

  
_jihoon has added dk and soonyoung to a group chat_

 **jihoon** : why  
**dk** : he's a child, he needs all the encouragement he can get  
**soonyoung** : we want to raise him to be a savage child  
**jihoon** : you two are unbelievable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will be updating every wednesday and saturday from now on!!!
> 
> thank you for your comments and kudos, as always!


	5. let the boyfriend games begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingaho: psh ples  
> mingaho: u guys think u can b a cuter n gayer couple than me n jun  
> shut the fuck up: @ jun come collect ya mans before i beat his ass  
> mingaho: y  
> mingaho: u cant handle a challengge?

"You ready to start filming?" Seungkwan asks, already adjusting the lighting settings on the camera. Vernon tugs on the sleeves of his sweater, grinning adorably and nodding. Seungkwan sighs as he takes a seat on the bed, warm sheets crinkling under his weight.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Seungkwan gently reaches up and plays with a few stray locks of hair on Vernon's head. "I can tell that the stress of school has been getting to you."

"Yeah, but I have you. And I have the group," Vernon seems to debate something, eventually shaking his head. "It's just the stress of finals, but afterwards it's all smooth sailing."

Seungkwan grins affectionately, taking Vernon's hand in his and interlacing their fingers before giving him a quick peck. Vernon's cheeks flush pink as he watches his boyfriend stand up and turn on the camera.

"Hello my lovelies! I'm back with a video that's quite different than what I usually do. As you can see, I'm with my boyfriend, Vernon, who you can find in the description! Please go watch his videos, they are 10/10!" Seungkwan makes a cute pointing downwards motion, little pout on his face as Vernon watches fondly in the background. Seungkwan turns to Vernon, smirking mischeviously. "Today, I have a treat for you all. We're going to be doing the chapstick challenge!"

4:00 pm

 **ovbiously** : [image]  
**ovbiously** : what kinda gay shit  
**ovbiously** : "chapstick challenge with my boyfriend"  
**ovbiously** : why did this just appear on my dash  
**jeonghan** : oh shush  
**jeonghan** : don't attack them, they're a happy couple  
**danceismylife** : fondnon makes a reappearance  
**chan** : °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°  
**bitch no** : when jun gets me snacks but also does that  
**bitch no** : he protecc but he also attacc  
**jisoo** : why  
**mingaho** : psh ples  
**mingaho** : u guys think u can b a cuter n gayer couple than me n jun  
**shut the fuck up** : @ jun come collect ya mans before i beat his ass  
**mingaho** : y  
**mingaho** : u cant handle a challengge?  
**shut the fuck up** : shutchyo bubblegum dum dum lookin ass tf up  
**shut the fuck up** : and what did u just say to me :))))))  
**seungcheol** : oh no  
**shut the fuck up** : i can handle a challenge  
**shut the fuck up** : bitch  
**mingaho** : 

**docum** : please let's all not fight!!  
**mingaho** : aight lets have a couples competition then  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : did someone say a couple's competition  
**chef poo** : please wonwoo and i are the cutest couple  
**ovbiously** : wanna bet  
**shut the fuck up** : exCusE mE  
**bitch no** : hey  
**docum** : guys pls!!!  
**danceismylife** : u guys are all equally as cute  
**danceismylife** : c'mon jeonghan tell ur kids how u love them all equally  
**jeonghan** : I mean,,,,,,there's a new and p cute couple right here *cough jihancheol cough*  
**bitch no** : what the fuck is a jihancheol  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : isn't that the ship name for poly couple™

_shut the fuck up has changed jeonghan's name to momma hannie_   
_shut the fuck up has changed seungcheol's name to papa coups  
shut the fuck up has changed jisoo's name to dad shua_

**bitch no** : kwannie?  
**shut the fuck up** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**shut the fuck up** : it was about time  
**shut the fuck up** : anyways waht did u bitches just say about bein a cuter couple than me and vernonnie?  
**momma hannie** : oh hell no  
**dad shua** : babe, language  
**momma hannie** : sorry  
**momma hannie** : oh no you did not  
**momma hannie** : see?  
**momma hannie** : look at us being all effortless like that  
**momma hannie** : we don't even have to try and we're still cute  
**momma hannie** : right cheollie?  
**papa coups** : yes hannie  
**papa coups** : you're doing great, sweetheart  
**momma hannie** : (ღˇ◡ˇ)~♥  
**momma hannie** : i love both of you so much  
**dad shua** : love you too~  
**papa coups** : love ya  
**chan** : ew parents being in love  
**shut the fuck up** : sorry i'm allergic to that so can u please rid of it  
**shut the fuck up** : like immediately  
**bitch no** : not like we're much better, kwan  
**shut the fuck up** : i suppose  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : let the boyfriend games begin  
**ovbiously** : StoP bEinG DiSgUsTinG pLs  
**ovbiously** : for the sake of my p u r i t y  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : "purity"  
**ovbiously** : *for the sake of my e y e b a l l s  
**mingaho** : jun, ily  
**mingaho** : but wtf  
**mingaho** : ur suppost to be only soft™ for me  
**ovbiously** : sorry  
**ovbiously** : can't take my chances  
**ovbiously** : i like my dick where it is thx  
**mingaho** : sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all liked the sprinkles of jihancheol and verkwan! there'll be more of the other ships in the future chapters ;))))
> 
> come yell at me on tumblr @ macaroonmin!


	6. the date plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingaho: [audio link]  
> mingaho: adsfaskfjlekja;lkjfe  
> momma hannie: minghao, sweetie, I have a question  
> mingaho: ye  
> momma hannie: why did you just send an audio link into the group chat of jun giving you head?

10:00 pm

 **mingaho** : [audio link]  
**mingaho** : adsfaskfjlekja;lkjfe  
**momma hannie** : minghao, sweetie, I have a question  
**mingaho** : ye  
**momma hannie** : why did you just send an audio link into the group chat of jun giving you head?  
**papa coups** : oh my  
**mingaho** : oh lol sorry musta sent that on acccident  
**shut the fuck up** : that doesnt count for the competition  
**shut the fuck up** : ur not being a cute couple ur being disgusting  
**shut the fuck up** : ho

_shut the fuck up has changed mingaho's name to mingaHO_

**mingaHO** : bitch  
**bitch no** : u called?  
**mingaHO** : tell ur bf t fuk off  
**mingaHO** : me n jun r cute kay  
**mingaHO** : cutr then all o y'all  
**chan** : that sounds like a cereal name  
**papa coups** : oh chan  
**dad shua** : stay pure, blessed one  
**momma hannie** : babe don't try and make our child christian  
**ovbiously** : wait i think chan might be onto something guys  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : jun are you fucking serious  
**ovbiously** : hang on hang on  
**ovbiously** : just think  
**ovbiously** : a variety of fruity flavors  
**ovbiously** : and the slogan is "all o y'all need to come try this cereal!"  
**ovbiously** : eh?  
**chef poo** : i'm still gonna have to go with wonwoo on this one, sorry bud  
**ovbiously** : why tf are u talkin down to me i'm older than u u little shit

_wonwoo has started a private chat with babe~_

**wonwoo** : where have you been? it's almost 12:00  
**babe~** : i've been at the youtube space all day  
**babe~** : youtube deleted my video and i didn't save it so i had to reedit and reupload my video  
**babe~** : i'm really sorry  
**wonwoo** : just come home soon okay  
**wonwoo** : i made us dinner and it's getting cold  
**babe~** : i'll come home as soon as this video is uploaded, promise  
**wonwoo** : k  
**wonwoo** : then we can cuddle and watch spirited away while eating popcorn  
**babe~** : sounds perfect <3  
**babe~** : i still want to make it up to u tho  
**babe~** : what do u say to a skate park date this weekend?  
**babe~** : we can vlog it and it'll move up our place in the boyfriend games  
**wonwoo** : ...  
**wonwoo** : i've never skated before...  
**babe~** : really?!?!?!?  
**babe~** : not even on rollerblades?!?!?!?!  
**wonwoo** : no  
**babe~** : i can teach u!!  
**babe~** : it'll be fun!!!1  
**wonwoo** : okaY  
**wonwoo** : pick me up at 5?  
**babe~** : yep  
**wonwoo** : okay i'll see you soon~  
**babe~** : i love you!!!!!!!  
**wonwoo** : love you too  
**wonwoo** : (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update!!! i prewrite my chapters but my schedule was filled yesterday and i kinda forgot '^^


	7. why is seungkwan handcuffed to a chair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> danceismylife: okay so i ws looking at fanmade vids  
> danceismylife: and well  
> danceismylife: this fanmade video showed up of with the title "soonyoung is gay CONFIRMED"  
> danceismylife: [image]  
> danceismylife: but i'm not gay tho???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated names:  
> scoups: papa coups  
> wonwoo: wrist icicle ride dick bicycle  
> mingyu: chef poo  
> vernon: bitch no  
> seungkwan: shut the fuck up  
> jeonghan: momma hannie  
> jisoo: dad shua  
> dk: docum  
> chan: chan  
> jun: ovbiously  
> minghao: mingaHO  
> soonyoung: danceismylife

2:58 pm

 **danceismylife** : okay so i ws looking at fanmade vids  
**danceismylife** : and well  
**danceismylife** : this fanmade video showed up of with the title "soonyoung is gay CONFIRMED"  
**danceismylife** : [image]  
**danceismylife** : but i'm not gay tho???  
**shut the fuck up** :

  
**shut the fuck up** : 

**shut the fuck up** : iM nOT gAy tHo  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I'm not even going to ask how you got those pictures.  
**shut the fuck up** : also wow soonyoung and jihoon didn't kno u were participating in the boyfriend games  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : Seungkwan you better be running.  
**shut the fuck up** : shit he's actually full on grammar  
**ovbiously** : dang soonyoung  
**ovbiously** : never knew you had bed eyes in you  
**ovbiously** : ya know  
**ovbiously** : considering  
**ovbiously** : you have eyes that small  
**danceismylife** : YOU TOO JUN  
**docum** : soonyoung legit just usaine bolted outta here jun he aint kiddin

3:16

 **mingaHO** : some1 tell me y im holdin a pack of peas to juns head instead of filming this weeks vid  
**chef poo** : scroll up dumbass  
**mingaHO** : summer of 15. boat.  
**mingaHO** : i will tell them.  
**chef poo** : damn  
**chef poo** : you play dirty  
**chef poo** : soonyoung attacked jun  
**mingaHO** : @ soonyoung y tho  
**mingaHO** : its so obvi u n jihoon like eachother  
**danceismylife** : stfu nobody asked u

3:18

 **bitch no** : ...  
**bitch no** : why is seungkwan handcuffed to a chair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all your comments and kudos!!! also,,, any specific stuff you guys want meanie to do on their date?
> 
> pictures do not belong to me! credit goes to all original owners


	8. the date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> docum: what's got jihoonie down in the dumps?  
> papa coups: did you watch his newest video?  
> hi im boring and use correct grammar: if he did he wouldn't have asked that  
> shut the fuck up: woozi's got boy problems  
> shut the fuck up: ooOoooOoooh

 

Wonwoo shuffles over to the mirror near his bed, fairy lights illuminating his cheekbones. He takes a deep breath in, assessing himself. Not too shabby, he thinks as he checks his backside. Wonwoo turns around once again, leaning forward as he pushes the black, round glasses higher up his delicate nose. He quite liked the glasses, accenting the gentle slope of his nose. Wonwoo inspects his outfit, feeling satisfied as he traces his natural body curve and playing with the mustard sweater he layered over a white collared shirt, ending at about mid-thigh. His long legs were covered in a pair of black jeans, the look completed with a pair of black converse. He looked put together yet still had an air of softness about him, and looked pleasing to the eyes.

A knock on his front door diverted Wonwoo's attention from his reflection. Picking up his phone, he glanced at the time. 5:13. How punctual.

 **babe~** : i'm outside ur house  
 **babe~** : u ready?

Wonwoo texted a quick reply, grabbing a jacket from his couch as he walked past and unlocked the door. A bright smile greeted him, canines prominent and shining in the dim light.

"There he is," Mingyu greeted, hands immediately gravitating towards his waist. Wonwoo was sure that there were Mingyu-shaped indents imprinted above his hips from how often Mingyu laid his hands there.

Mingyu pulled Wonwoo against his body, lips latching onto his. Wonwoo leaned forward, deepening the kiss and grinning. He made a soft noise of pleasure, pouting as Mingyu giggled and pulled away.

"So impatient." Mingyu smirked when Wonwoo humphed, pulling him out of the house into the biting cold weather. "We'll get to that later, I promise. For now, let's go on our date."

6:00 pm

 **ovbiously** : in honour of the boyfriend games i'm gonna do this again

_ovbiously has changed their name to xu jun  
ovbiously has changed mingaHO's name to wen minghao_

**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : honour?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : what are you, some fake british fuck  
**papa coups** : woah there now  
**docum** : what's got jihoonie down in the dumps?  
**papa coups** : did you watch his newest video?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : if he did he wouldn't have asked that  
**shut the fuck up** : woozi's got boy problems  
**shut the fuck up** : ooOoooOoooh  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : kindly shut your nosy ass up

_bitch no has changed shut the fuck up's name to boo(ty)_

**bitch no** : ass  
**boo(ty)** : i know i have a great one, vernonie  
**boo(ty)** : you don't need to tell me  
**boo(ty)** : ...  
**boo(ty)** : but thanks

_hi im boring and use correct grammar has left the group chat_

**docum** : D:  
**papa coups** : hannie, shua, we must hold a parent meeting  
**dad shua** : present  
**momma hannie** : why nowwwww  
**momma hannie** : we were just starting a really good movie what more do you children need from me  
**xu jun** : oh okay good i thought u guys were about to fuck  
**dad shua** : what?  
**xu jun** : what who said that  
**papa coups** : AHEM  
**papa coups** : the meeting is starting now

_papa coups has removed danceismylife from the group chat_

**papa** **coups** : there  
**papa coups** : children leave  
**boo(ty)** : why dont' u just make a separate group chat without us  
**papa coups** : oh yeah  
**dad shua** : oh coupsie  
**wen minghao** : COUPSIE  
**dad shua** : are you threatening my authority?  
**wen minghao** : what the fuck

_papa coups has added momma hannie and dad shua into a group chat_

**papa coups** : so what do we do about soonyoung and jihoon?  
**momma hannie** : i think we should meddle  
**papa coups** : shua?  
**dad shua** : I think we should let them solve it themselves, and if that doesn't work then we can meddle  
**papa coups** : I agree with shua on this one  
**papa coups** : sorry han  
**momma hannie** : it's fine  
**papa coups** : okay  
**papa coups** : meeting adjourned

 

6:37 pm

  
**papa coups** : continue with your talk, children  
**dad shua** : the parents are going to watch their movie now  
**xu jun** : ooh haohao wanna watch a movie too?  
**wen minghao** : sure just lemme finis up editin this vid  
**xu jun** : i'll be in the living room~  
**wen minghao** : wid poporn?  
**xu jun** : of course  
**wen minghao** : i lvoe yyou  
**xu jun** : ik  
**chan** : aww hyungs are so cute!  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : why are there two less people in the chat  
**chan** : jihoon hyung left and soonie hyung got kicked out :(  
**docum** : every time i leave for a little bit things go to bad places  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : don't you mean 'things go to hell?'  
**dad shua** : seokmin is the only pure one  
**xu jun** : fucck you i'm pure  
**dad shua** : nah  
**docum** : both of you stop arguing and get back to watching your movies!!  
**wen minghao** : jun ur not watchin the movie  
**wen minghao** : i watn my boyfie  
**wen minghao** : get back here  
**xu jun** : yessir  
**wrist icicle ride dick bicycle** : gross  
**boo(ty)** : excuse u look at ur name

_wrist icicle ride dick bicycle has changed their name to mingyu's bf_

**boo(ty)** : wh-  
**mingyu's bf** :  
…………………./´¯/)  
………….…..,/¯../  
………………./…./  
…………./´¯/’…’/´¯¯`·¸  
………./’/…/…./……./¨¯\  
……..(‘(…´…´…. ¯~/’…’)  
..……\………….....…..’…../  
.….”…\…….........…. _.·´  
…………\…….....……..(  
…………..\……….....….\  
**mingyu's bf** : :))))))))  
**chef poo** : we win

_mingyu's bf has changed chef poo's name to wonu's bf_

**boo(ty)** : ...actually thats hella cute  
**bitch no** : like us?  
**boo(ty)** : sure  
**bitch no** : whaddaya mean sure  
**bitch no** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**chan** : mingyu and wonwoo hyung are pretty cute  
**bitch no** : we're cute :(  
**boo(ty)** : hansol theyre litterally on a skate park date rn  
**bitch no** : i can take u on a skatepark d8  
**boo(ty)** : but have u  
**docum** : leT'S CaLm dOwN  
**docum** : some1 add jihoonie back

_boo(ty) has added soonyoung to the group chat_

**boo(ty)** : @ soonyoung come get ya mans  
**docum** : don't make this situation worse pls  
**boo(ty)** : sorry

_chan has added jihoon to the group chat_

**jihoon** : what do you want.  
**chan** : :'(  
**jihoon** : not you chan  
**docum** : :'(  
**jihoon** : jesus I wasn't directing that at any any of the pure ones, alright?  
**momma hannie** : good or u would have had some serious consequences young man  
**docum** : GO BACK TO WATCHING YOUR MOVIE  
**momma hannie** : we have to check in on you guys every once ina while to make sure no one has died  
**chan** : but you should enjoy your movie with your boyfriends!!  
**momma hannie** : okay  
**boo(ty)** : *coughfavoritecough*  
**momma hannie** : are you sick seungkwan?  
**momma hannie** : i can give you some medicine :)  
**boo(ty)** : nah'm good  
**momma hannie** : i :) love :) all :) of :) my :) children :) equally :) okay :)  
**boo(ty)** : DULY NOTED  
**momma hannie** : good  
**momma hannie** : kids behave  
**chan** : okay!  
**chan** : enjoy your movie!  
**dad shua** : we will :)  
**boo(ty)** : it's always the youngest  
**dad shua** : got a problem?  
**bitch no** : babe run  
**boo(ty)** : already bought my airplane ticket  
**dad shua** : hansol, do you really think I'm that scary?  
**boo(ty)** : *already bought our airplane tickets  
**boo(ty)** : sorry gotta exo chinaline  
**xu jun** : hey i actually liked their youtube channel  
**boo(ty)** : ik but 12 people managing one account  
**boo(ty)** : and living under one roof  
**boo(ty)** : i don think so hun  
**wen minghao** : i thouught u said u wer gon dash  
**boo(ty)** : oh yeah  
**boo(ty)** : aight see y'all  
**chan** : bye hyung!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please go check out my new junhao fic! i really love fantasy and it's my first actual writing fic
> 
> thanks for all the comments and kudos, as always!!!


	9. the parents actually act like parents in this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> momma hannie: [image]  
> momma hannie: i saw this pop up on my dash  
> momma hannie: jihoon, want to tell me why you're taking a month break from youtube?  
> 

_momma hannie has added jihoon to a group chat  
_

**momma hannie** : [image]  
**momma hannie** : i saw this pop up on my dash  
**momma hannie** : jihoon, want to tell me why you're taking a month break from youtube?  
**jihoon** : because kwon fucking soonyoung asked me to be his boyfriend.  
**momma hannie** : didn't you two have thing from the start?  
**jihoon** : yes.  
**jihoon** : but jesus  
**jihoon** : he just jumped the gun on me  
**jihoon** : we haven't even met in real life!  
**jihoon** : we're internet friends!  
**jihoon** : and he expects me to say yes when I haven't even heard his voice in real life. I've only watched him through a screen!  
**momma hannie** : hm  
**momma hannie** : is it okay if I add the other parents to the gc?  
**jihoon** : sure

_momma hannie has added papa coups and dad shua to the group chat_

**momma hannie** : babes  
**momma hannie** : we have a problem  
**dad shua** : is it a problem involving two ridiculously dense people?  
**momma hannie** : now how did you know that?  
**dad shua** : parent senses  
**dad shua** : that and I also saw the video  
**momma hannie** : ah  
**jihoon** : actually nvm what is the point of this  
**papa coups** : we're here to help, jihoon  
**papa coups** : it's okay if you don't want to date soonyoung right away  
**momma hannie** : absolutely okay  
**dad shua** : he shouldn't expect you to agree to a serious relationship until you two have met  
**papa coups** : I still think you should give him a chance, though  
**papa coups** : you two are very compatible and I think you two will last long if you decide to give it a try  
**papa coups** : don't be afraid to tell him that you're uncomfortable with things  
**momma hannie** : offer to meet up at vidcon or something  
**momma hannie** : maybe you two could go for coffee or something after one of your events  
**dad shua** : we know how being forced into a relationship can make you feel  
**dad shua** : if you don't feel right, things just won't work out  
**dad shua** : and soonyoung will understand that you need time to get to know him  
**momma hannie** : trust us, we know him in person  
**papa coups** : he'll make efforts  
**momma hannie** : and who knows, you may be able to score a husband with this one  
**dad shua** : ;)  
**jihoon** : holy shit  
**jihoon** : I've never actually experienced full fledged parent mode from all three of you at the same time  
**jihoon** : that was amazing  
**momma hannie** : thanks hun, we know  
**jihoon** : and jeonghan hyung actually used grammar for once and didn't spell you like "u"  
**momma hannie** : its texting i do what i want when i want  
**dad shua** : of course, sweetheart  
**jihoon** : gross  
**jihoon** : but anyways  
**jihoon** : I'll think about it. I do want to try out a relationship with Soonyoung, but it just surprised me that he would ask when we were only just starting to get to the flirting phase. It obviously wasn't his intentions, but it made me think that he was irresponsible and didn't think before he acted. It made me not want to continue my friendship with him because I didn't trust him fully.  
**momma hannie** : this is all okay  
**momma hannie** : time is the best medicine  
**jihoon** : stop being such a mom please  
**momma hannie** : cant help instincts  
**jihoon** : ....  
**jihoon** : okay, I'm going to go now  
**dad shua** : alright  
**dad shua** : and jihoon?  
**jihoon** : yeah  
**dad shua** : maybe think about not taking a break from youtube  
**dad shua** : your viewers may be your source for money, but remember that they've watched your videos and have come to think of you as a friend  
**dad shua** : they're there for you, and they want to see your battles as well  
**dad shua** : they genuinely care about you  
**dad shua** : trust that they'll help you out as much as they can  
**dad shua** : it'll make you feel a lot better at the end of the day  
**dad shua** : trust dad shua  
**jihoon** : way to ruin it.  
**dad shua** : sorry that last text wasn't supposed to send  
**jihoon** : but like I said before...  
**jihoon** : I'll think about it  
**papa coups** : that's all we could ask for  
**jihoon** : thanks, guys.  
**momma hannie** : no problem :)  
**momma hannie** : we may be intimidating sometimes, but don't be afraid to come talk to us  
**dad shua** : we're always here with open arms  
**jihoon** : Again, thank you. This means a lot.  
**papa coups** : hang on

_papa coups has added dk and chan to the group chat_

**papa coups** : jihoon's crying alone in his room  
**docum** : *gasp*  
**chan** : no!!! dont cry, jihoon hyung!!!!  
**docum** : im on the way wtih ice cream, movies, and a lot of tissues!!!!  
**docum** : im also bringing chan!!!  
**chan** : stay put until we get there!  
**chan** : its okay hyung!  
**chan** : it'll all be better soon!  
**chan** : fighting!  
**jihoon** : fgihaoitjs;idjn  
**jihoon** : *fighting  
**jihoon** : sorry I was crying too much  
**jihoon** : thank you, pure ones  
**papa coups** : nothing like a little sunshine to brighten up your day  
**jihoon** : *thank you, pures and parents  
**momma hannie** : ;)

8:00 pm  
**xu jun** : @ won n mingyu  
**xu jun** : how dare  
**wen minghao** : idid u srsly jus challenge us, verkwan n the parents to a date challenge  
**mingyu's bf** : yeah  
**mingyu's bf** : whichever couple can go on the most dates wins a point in the boyfriend games™  
**boo(ty)** : u evven trademarked it  
**mingyu's bf** : ye  
**xu jun** : it wa smy idea!  
**mingyu's bf** : we are not having this conversation right now  
**wen minghao** : giv him 90% of all profits n well calll it a deal  
**mingyu's bf** : fine whatever  
**mingyu's bf** : just listen to the rules  
**xu jun** : k go  
**mingyu's bf** : alright so  
**mingyu's bf** : the rules are 1. a thing that you would normally count such as spending a night in together just chilling on the couch doesn't count as a date  
**wonwoo's bf** : it has to be something that you two haven't tried or don't do often  
**mingyu's bf** : 2. the qualifications of having a successful date is vlogging it, going out of your house, and having an enjoyable, at least 5 minute conversation  
**wonwoo's bf** : communication is importnat kiddies  
**mingyu's bf** : 3. yes, going to a club, getting shitfaced drunk, and having lots of sex counts as a "date"  
**wonwoo's bf** : but dont vlog that  
**mingyu's bf** : any questions?  
**wen minghao** : yes  
**wen minghao** : did u 2 plan that so won goes n than gyu goes  
**wonwoo's bf** : ...won, we've been outed  
**mingyu's bf** : oh shut up you big goof  
**wonwoo's bf** : goof(y)  
**xu jun** : wAkE mE Up  
**bitch no** : WaKE Me uP iNSidEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
**xu jun** : THANK YOU  
**xu jun** : u get me, bro  
**bitch no** : no prob, bro  
**mingyu's bf** : oh my god  
**mingyu's bf** : seungkwan, minghao, we're dating idiots  
 **wen minghao** : i realizd this that 1 time he gave me head and stopped in th middle coz he suddenly remembered club penguin and wanted to see if his account still existed  
**boo(ty)** : dont have to tell me i’m dating an idiot  
**boo(ty)** : ik  
 **bitch no** : your idiot   
 **boo(ty)** : ofc  
**bitch no:** luv u  
**boo(ty)** : love u too <3

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeeee this fic has some spicy stuff comin up and i'm v v excited :DDDD
> 
> i tried to make this as not angsty and stereotypical as possible?? idk if i did???? lol???? pls help ur local suffering writer???
> 
> also jihancheol are such parents in this chapter soMEONE STOP ME
> 
> hmu on tumblr @ macaroonmin!! i'm always open to talk to :)


	10. the doges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingyu's bf: um so  
> mingyu's bf: we went to the dog cafe yesterday  
> papa coups: yes, you did  
> mingyu's bf: and mingyu's a really big dog person  
> papa coups: mhm  
> mingyu's bf: soafterwardswewenttoapetstoreandwefoundthisreallyadorabledogandweadoptedher  
> papa coups: what

_jihoon has added jeonghan, seungcheol, and jisoo to a group chat_

**jihoon** : well, everything is sorted  
**jihoon** : kind of  
**jihoon** : we're planning on going out on a date after my event at vidcon  
**jeonghan** : so in a couple of weeks?  
**jihoon** : yeah  
**jihoon** : and afterwards we'll see if we want to try it again  
**jihoon** : I don't really know  
**jisoo** : it's improvement!  
**jeonghan** : thiss will be so fun  
**jeonghan** : im excited for both u  
**jihoon** : thanks, I guess  
**seungcheol** : well already that's a good start  
**seungcheol** : way to go, kiddo  
**jihoon** : please don't call me kiddo ever again thanks

8:00 pm  
**chan** : soonyoung says that we forgot to add him back to the group chat  
**chan** : he says he wants in again  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : tell him to chill his tits

_hi im boring and use correct grammar has added danceismylife to the group chat_

**danceismylife** : yay!!!!!!  
**chan** : yay!!!!! x2  
**docum** : yay!!!!! x3  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : where's the rest of the gang  
**docum** : they're all on dates rn  
**docum** : wonwoo and mingyu went to a dog cafe, jun and minghao went on a shopping day downtown, vernonr and seungkwan went on a picnic, and the parents went to see a movie  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : isn't a movie date not qualified?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I mean it's a regular thing  
**chan** : well yeah but jeonghan hyung jisoo hyungnand seungcheol hyung don't ever go out to see them  
**chan** : they say it's a waste of money and that theyd rather watch it at home  
**chan** : so they went out to see spiderman today  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : cool  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : well I have to go film a video now  
**chan** : oooh whats it about?  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : how to produce a single  
**danceismylife** : im sry but who'd watch that  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : people  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I don't know.  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : should I change it?  
**docum** : no it's fine hyung!!!!  
**danceismylife** : well  
**danceismylife** : maybe just change itto how to produce  
**danceismylife** : or how to use a produce thingy  
**danceismylife** : idk what its called  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : you mean a synth?  
**danceismylife** : ye that thing  
**danceismylife** : w all the buttons n shit  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : sure, I guess  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I don't really have any other video ideas  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : alright I'm going to go film that now  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : see you all later  
**chan** : bye bye hyungie!  
**docum** : (◍˃̶ᗜ˂̶◍)ﾉ”  
**danceismylife** : bye, jihoon!

8:13 pm  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : <3

10:00 am  
**mingyu's** **bf** : um so  
**mingyu's bf** : we went to the dog cafe yesterday  
**papa coups** : yes, you did  
**mingyu's bf** : and mingyu's a really big dog person  
**papa coups** : mhm  
**mingyu's bf** : soafterwardswewentonthiswebsiteandnowweredogsittingsomerandompersonsdogsfor a week  
**papa coups** : what  
**mingyu's bf** : so afterwards we went on this website and now we’re dog sitting some random person’s dogs for a week  
**momma hannie** : you What  
**mingyu's bf** : I couldn't help it, they were really cute, the person needed someone quick and they only lived half a mile away  
**mingyu's bf** : besides, mingyu promised he'd walk and feed them everyday  
**boo(ty)** : arent u more of a cat person tho??  
**mingyu's bf** : eh  
**mingyu's bf** : I can go either way  
**mingyu's bf** : mingyu's allergic to cats though  
**mingyu's b** f: and I'm already living with one huge puppy, might as well get another one  
 **mingyu's bf** : or two  
**wonwoo's bf** : ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ  
**wonwoo's bf** : wanna see them????  
**docum** : YES  
**chan** : doge!!!!!  
**wonwoo's bf** :

  
**chan** : THEYRE SO FLOOF!!!!!!!  
**docum** : awhhhhhh  
**boo(ty)** : damn they're cute  
**boo(ty)** : vernonie, u wouldnt leav eme for them right  
**bitch no** : never  
**bitch no** : all i need is u  
**wen minghao** : what the fuck  
**mingyu's bf** : seungkwan are you seriously asking if vernon would leave you...for some dogs  
**boo(ty)** : it's happened before  
**xu jun** : vernon left u for a dog?  
**boo(ty)** : no, a girl got left by her man because he fell in love with a dog  
**wen minghao** : kay but vernons not into dogs  
**bitch no** : they're nice to look at  
**bitch no** : but cant beet seungkwannie at sex  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : b e e t  
**danceismylife** : oh hey ur back!  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : yep  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : just finished uploading the video  
**xu jun** : ye um wat was that at the end  
**xu jun** : "this vid idea was curtesy of the one and only kwon soonyoung, also known as hoshi"  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : jun, what the fuck  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I literally just uploaded the video, like, 2 minutes ago  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : the video is 15 minutes long  
**xu jun** : the power of the 10 second skip  
**xu jun** : just kinda browsed thru ur vid  
**xu jun** : BUt THE SOoNHoON  
**bitch no** : um

10:36 am

_hansol has added jun to a group chat_

**hansol** : jun, ur not supposedta say anything about that  
**hansol** : issa touchy subject for the both of them  
**jun** : ah  
**jun** : sorry

10:38 am  
**xu jun** : my apologies  
**xu jun** : didn't realize  
**danceismylife** : its okay  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : we'll decide after our date  
**danceismylife** : ;)))  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : yes, soonyoung, our DATE  
**danceismylife** : yeeeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeeEeeeeEeeee  
**chan** : hyung, are you okay?  
**momma hannie** : seokmin, update  
**docum** : i just walked into his room and he's rolling around on the floor while holding his phone close to his chest  
**docum** : he's also smiling really big  
**docum** : and blushing  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : soonyoung get up off the floor  
**docum** : update: he just sat up  
**docum** : he's now yelling at me to get out of his room  
**docum** : dk logging off  
**wen minghao** : ??  
**dad shua** : oh shush let him pretend  
**wen minghao** : whatever u say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support and love!!!!!!!!!! i'm the smolest happiest lil bean rn
> 
> pictures are not mine!


	11. all of you are so messed up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch no: I REGRET evERYTHING  
> wen minghao: what kinda kinky shit
> 
> chan has changed their name to tainted
> 
> docum: WHAT HAPPNED IM HERE  
> momma hannie: sweet baby jesus no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw this chapter has some kinky shit so BE PREPARED

12:00 pm

 **mingyu's bf** : when i was working today this little kid would not fucking let go of my leg  
**mingyu's bf** : even though he was sick  
**mingyu's bf** : and spreading his germs all over me  
**mingyu's bf** : he was like a mini mingyu  
**mingyu's bf** : *shudder*  
**wonu's bf** : i thought u loved me :(  
**mingyu's bf** : babe, i do  
**mingyu's bf** : it's just that i can only stand so many hours around a germy creature  
**wonu's bf** : did u just call me a germy creature?  
**mingyu's bf** : no  
**wonu's** **bf** : :((((((  
**mingyu's** **bf** : ...  
**mingyu's bf** : wait in your room  
**wonu's bf** :))))))  
**bitch no** : what did he do  
**wonu's bf** : ill just take a picture  
**wonu's bf** :

  
**chan** : 

* * *

**bitch no** : I REGRET evERYTHING  
**wen minghao** : what kinda kinky shit

_chan has changed their name to tainted_

**docum** : WHAT HAPPNED IM HERE  
**momma hannie** : sweet baby jesus no  
**boo(ty)** : KEEP YA NASTY SHIT TO YASELVES  
**xu jun** : wait is this the first time chan's name has been changed

_papa coups has changed tainted's name to chan_

**xu jun** : wait but why has chan's name stayed all this time  
**momma hannie** : because he is a pure baby that has done no wrong  
**dad shua** : wow  
**momma hannie** : i must defend my child  
**chan** : why?  
**momma hannie** : shhhh  
**chan** : I can defend myself :(  
**docum** : channie, u r smol  
**chan** : but so is jihoon hyung :((((  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** what  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** did  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** you **  
hi im boring and use correct grammar:** just  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar:** say  
**chan:** uh  
**danceismylife** : u better dasi run run run ma dude  
**chan** : I'M SORRY HYUNG I LOVE YOU!!!  
**chan** : YOU'RE NOT SMALL YOU'RE COOL AND TOUGH  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : chan woah  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : chill, you don't need to lie  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : I know I'm not tough  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : just. don't. call. me. cute. or. small.  
**hi im boring and use correct grammar** : we cool?  
**chan** : yes hyung

_chan has changed hi im boring and use correct grammar's name to scary hyung_

**momma hannie** : now look what you've done  
**momma hannie** : you've gone and made the little one scared

1:00 pm

_dad shua has named the group chat "the parents"_

**dad shua** : han, chan's not a child  
**dad shua** : have you seen his dance videos?  
**dad shua** : the kid's hardcore  
**momma** **hannie** : but I want him to stay young and innocent forever  
**momma** **hannie** : he also makes it so hard to imagine him as a big boi when he literally acts like a 5 year old  
**papa coups** : we know  
**dad shua** : but we also know that chan finds it annoying when he wants to be cool and you just keep on calling him cute and adorable  
**dad shua** : sometimes he wants to be hip, ya know?  
**momma** **hannie** : I get it  
**momma** **hannie** : thanks for knocking some sense into me, shua  
**dad** **shua** : it's what boyfriends are for :)

1:13 pm  
**momma hannie** : *you've gone and made the maknae scared

1:14 pm  
_the parents_

 **dad shua** : see?  
**dad shua** : improvement  
**papa coups** : we're proud of you  
**momma** **hannie** : i love both of you~~  
**dad shua** : we love you too!

1:16 pm  
**momma hannie** : are any of you going to vidcon?  
**momma hannie** : i need to keep track of my children  
**danceismylife** : well u already kno that jihoon and i r goin  
**wen** **minghao** : wait r yall flyin together?  
**danceismylife** : lol no HAH  
**danceismylife** : ⁱ ʷⁱˢʰ  
**scary hyung** : what>137http://  
**xu jun** : did the jihoon robot malfunction  
**xu jun** : it is okay, o inexperienced one  
**xu jun** : this thing that u feel in ur heart, it is called love  
**wen minghao** : that tingly feelin in ur dick everytime u see soonyoung shirtless, it is called sexual attraction  
**bitch no** : hey now jihoon hyung can get some good dicking every once in a while  
**wonu's bf** : well wonwoo already gets that on a daily basis :P  
**wonu's bf** : who's the real winner  
**mingyu's bf** : pls  
**mingyu's bf** : pls no  
**scary hyung** : I highkey hate all of you  
**momma hannie** : we love you too!  
**dad shua** : it feels good to be appreciated  
**boo(ty)** : WHATSUP y'all wat'd i miss  
**boo(ty)** : ooh gossip yum  
**bitch no** : seungkwannie are you comin over?  
**bitch no** : our reservation's at 2:00  
**chan** : ooh reservation!  
**boo(ty)** : yup  
**boo(ty)** : we goin out for dinner at a nice restaurant  
**boo(ty)** : wanna see my outfit?  
**chan** : yeah!!!1  
**wen minghao:** bitch yes  
**boo(ty)** :   
  
**docum** : slay!!!!!  
**xu jun** : dang vernon what good thing did u do this week  
**boo(ty)** : vernonnie's wearing this  
**boo(ty)** : 

  
**boo(ty)** : we gon be the best lookin couple there ;)  
**wen minghao** : mhm  
**momma hannie** : slay out there hun!  
**papa coups** : stay safe and have fun  
**dad shua** : use condoms  
**bitch no** **:** pffft  
**dad shua** : shut up vernon I know what you're like  
**bitch no** : hey seungkwan let's go now  
**boo(ty)** : ay this ass better be eaten tonight  
**boo(ty)** : i ain't wearin these lace panties for nothin  
**bitch no** : l a c e p a n t i e s  
**chan** : vernon hyung is drooling on his phone  
**wen minghao** : go get that dick seungkwan  
**boo(ty)** : i will~

11:00 am  
**boo(ty)** : so  
**boo(ty)** : this is a result of last night  
**boo(ty)** :   
   
**wonu's bf** : HOLY FUCK  
**mingyu's bf** : and i thought mingyu was possessive  
**mingyu's bf** : well i mean he is but  
**mingyu's bf:**  jesus seungkwan  
**boo(ty)** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**wen minghao** : ayyyy  
**wen minghao** : we both got laid  
**boo(ty)** : ye  
**boo(ty)** : and thanks to vernon, I am bedridden for the entire day  
**boo(ty)** : :))))))  
**bitch no** : cant blame me, can u  
**boo(ty)** : nope  
**dad shua** : all of you are so messed up

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update!! i'm going to try a new method from now on and edit the chapters the day before so that they upload at a certain time the following day so hopefully i won't be so late all the time '^^


	12. the bottom chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boo(ty): wowee that was a ride  
> bitch no: ride
> 
> boo(ty) has changed bitch no's name to all up in the kitchen in my heel's dinner time
> 
> wen minghao: r we jus gunna keep on usin sex lyrics for the usernames of the tops

1:00 pm

 **boo(ty)** : wowee that was a ride  
**bitch no** : ride

_boo(ty) has changed bitch no's name to all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time_

**wen minghao** : r we jus gunna keep on usin sex lyrics for the usernames of the tops  
**wen minghao** : cuz if so  
**wen minghao** : im all for this  
**dad shua** : what song is that from?  
**boo(ty)** : countdown by beyonce  
**boo(ty)** : bitch kno ya songs  
**all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time** : u should listen to that song its a jam  
**dad shua** : okay  
**momma hannie** : we could always add an extra song to our "songs to have sex to" playlist  
**dad shua** : HANNIE  
**momma hannie** : what  
**boo(ty)** : i recommend body party by ciara  
**wen minghao** : n take u down by chris brown  
**mingyu's bf** : private show by little mix is a nice pick if you want to get intense  
**scary hyung** : skin by rihanna is a good slow one  
**wonu's bf** : !!!!!!!!!!  
**chan** : jihoon hyung?  
**momma hannie:** now when did this happen?  
**scary hyung** : what I know how lap dances work  
**boo(ty)** : u just,,,,don't seem liek the type

_xu jun has changed scary hyung's name to secret twink_

**secret twink** : fuckin asshole  
**all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time** : actually it kinda makes sense  
**all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time** : i mean  
**all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time** : music producer

_boo(ty) has changed all up in the kitchen in my heels dinner time's name to dinnertime_

**boo(ty)** : sorry it was bugging me  
**boo(ty)** : what were u saying sweetie?  
**dinnertime** : well jihoon hyung's a music producer  
**dinnertime** : so shouldn't he be really good with beats n stuff  
**dinnertime** : WAIT I THINK JIHOON'S A SECRET STRIPPER  
**secret twink** : how the fuck did you come to that conclusion based off of the fact that I'm a music producer  
**dinnertime** : hey it's okay to be a sex god no shame here  
**wen minghao** : i myself like to put on some thigh highs every once in a while  
**xu jun** : and damn do u look good  
**xu jun** : i almost came in my pants the first time u wore them  
**docum** : there are children here!!

1:02 pm  
_dad shua has added dk to a group chat_

 **dad shua** : ahem

1:03  
**docum** : and by children i hop e u all kno i mean me  
**momma hannie** : oh no we know  
**boo(ty)** : wait i just got a great idea guys  
**papa coups** : oh bother  
**wen minghao** : who says oh bother anymore  
**papa coups** : me  
**momma hannie** : don't attack your father  
**dad shua** : hey no fighting at the dinner table  
**dinnertime** : ;)  
**xu jun** : since when did this gc become a scene of a family dinner  
**boo(ty):** SPEAKING of dinners  
**boo(ty)** : i have a great idea  
**mingyu's bf** : that has nothing to do with dinners  
**boo(ty)** : I HAVE GREAT IDEA

1:17 pm  
_boo(ty) has added mingyu's bf, wen minghao, momma hannie, and secret twink to a group chat_

_boo(ty) has named the group chat "bottoms up ladies"_

**boo(ty)** : ta daaaaa  
**boo(ty)** : a gc  
**boo(ty)** : for the regular bottoms  
**boo(ty)** : um jeonghan hyung  i added u cause u seem to bottom the most?? idk don’t fact check me on that  
**boo(ty)** : but if u, jisoo hyung or seungcheol hyung bottom on the usual then add them in  
**momma hannie** : no ur good  
**momma hannie** : u guessed right  
**boo(ty)** : ooh this excites me  
**boo(ty)** : now we can talk about lace panties and sexy times and butt pains in here  
**boo(ty)** : we can really have some heart to hearts ya know  
**mingyu's bf** : nice  
**mingyu's bf** : you guys can help me pick out some crop tops then cause i'm going shopping this weekend  
**mingyu's bf** : I'm looking for something sheer  
**mingyu's bf** : and coincidentally me and mingyu's anniversary falls on the weekend of vidcon so we can't even have really loud sex :(  
**wen minghao** : i feel ur pain won  
**mingyu's bf** : hey  
**mingyu's bf** : only mingyu's allowed to call me won  
**wen minghao** : aight  
**wen minghao** : i relate tho  
**wen minghao** : sometimes i wanna shove a huge butt plug up ma butt to keep jun's cum in me  
**wen minghao** : but then i have meet and greets all day and its slowly trickling out of me  
**momma hannie** : u use butt plugs to keep come inside of u?  
**momma hannie** : i just use it for the stretch all day  
**momma hannie** : and to get the hubbies a little disturbed of course  
**wen minghao** : lol this iss great  
**boo(ty)** : is(i)s?  
**boo(ty)** : oh my jesus fucking christ no you shouldn’t  
**boo(ty)** : that was such a hansol thing im so sorry  
**wen minghao** : is fine  
**mingyu's bf** : just pls don't ever do that again  
**boo(ty)** : ugh i need to go out more  
**boo(ty)** : i spend way too much time around my dork of a bf  
**boo(ty)** : HEY we should all go on a shopping trip before we have to leave for vidcon  
**wen minghao** : aight it just has to b be4 june 17th  
**wen minghao** : jun n i r flyin in a couple days early  
**momma hannie** : i can organize things  
**momma hannie** : what day is that?  
**wen minghao** : sunday  
**momma hannie** : we'll leav u time to pack  
**momma hannie** : so maybe the 15th?  
**momma hannie** : that's a friday  
**wen minghao** : ye that's good for me  
**boo(ty)** : i wanted to film that day but i can just move it  
**mingyu's bf:** i can come  
**secret twink** : yeah I guess  
**boo(ty)** : yassss

10:47 am  
_hansolie <3 has added my boo to a group chat_

_hansolie <3 has named the group chat "lovey dovey"_

**hansolie <3**: good morning, thunder thighs  
**my boo** : hey  
**my boo** : mornin, collar bones  
**hansolie <3**: love u  
**my boo** : love u too~  
**hansolie <3**: wanna go out for brunch?  
**hansolie <3**: we haven't spent enough time together without cameras  
**my boo** : sounds good to me  
**hansolie <3**: ill be over in a bit  
**my boo** : come quickly~

3:33 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** : dang everyone look at ma mans  
**mingyu's bf** :

  
**mingyu's bf:** he's holding all my bags for me  
**mingyu's bf** : and he took an aesthetically pleasing picture while he was at it  
**mingyu's bf** : he's so physically and mentally attractive what the fuck  
**mingyu's bf** : is this man even real  
**momma hannie** : get u a man who can do both  
**boo(ty)** : ya better not let this one go  
**mingyu's bf** : trust me, i won't  
**mingyu's bf** : ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loL so the update plan didn't work,,,,,, :))))))))) i think i'm just going to stick to what i've been doing cause it's been working so far but we'll see
> 
> after the mall trip, the future chapters are going to be the squad's adventures during vidcon!!! i'm v excited to write it but hopefully the chapters won't have as abrupt endings h A (ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡˢ)
> 
> also i know this has nothing to do with svt but BTS'S NEW ALBUMMMMMM


	13. the shopping day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boo(ty): SHOPPING DAY Y'ALL  
> boo(ty): WONWOO U BEST BE BRINGING UR BEST BOD AND ALL UR MONEY CAUSE WE BE GETTIN U ALL DEM CROP TOPS  
> boo(ty): MINGHAO WE BE GETTIN SOME BRAND NEW STOCKINGS FOR U  
> boo(ty): JIHOON BE PREPARED TO GET THE CUTESET THIGH HIGHS  
> boo(ty): AND JEONGHAN  
> boo(ty): BE READY TO SLAY

11:15 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **boo(ty)** : SHOPPING DAY Y'ALL  
**boo(ty)** : WONWOO U BEST BE BRINGING UR BEST BOD AND ALL UR MONEY CAUSE WE BE GETTIN U ALL DEM CROP TOPS  
**boo(ty)** : MINGHAO WE BE GETTIN SOME BRAND NEW STOCKINGS FOR U  
**boo(ty)** : JIHOON BE PREPARED TO GET THE CUTESET THIGH HIGHS  
**boo(ty)** : AND JEONGHAN  
**boo(ty** ): BE READY TO SLAY  
**momma hannie** : seungkwan and i are on the way to pick all of you up  
**momma hannie** : be ready!!!!!  
**wen minghao** : aight

1:06 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** : okay ow  
**mingyu's bf** : seungkwan i know you wanted me to try on these lace panties but jesus christ  
**mingyu's bf** : my dick is straining against these  
**mingyu's bf** : h e l p  
**boo(ty)** : lemme see  
**mingyu's bf** :   
  
**boo(ty)** : DAMN WON  
**boo(ty)** : WOO  
**boo(ty)** : if i were mingyu i'd be drooling rn  
**boo(ty)** : it looks really good!!!  
**mingyu's bf** : thanks, i guess  
**wen mingha** o: dang u pull it off welll  
**wen minghao** : all in favor of wonwoo buyin the panties say i  
**momma hannie** : I  
**secret twink** : no opinion.  
**boo(ty)** : IIIIIIIIIIIIII  
**mingyu's bf** : okay okay  
**mingyu's bf** : i'll buy it  
**wen mingha** o: gyus gonna cum in his pants when he sees u  
**wen minghao** : damn thatll be real funny  
**wen minghao** : OH  
**wen minghao** : that reminds me seungkwan i need ur assistance  
**boo(ty)** : how can the queen help  
**wen minghao** : i need u over to forever 21 stat  
**wen minghao** : wonwoo come over here to  
**mingyu's bf** : what for?  
**wen minghao** : u'll see when u get here  
**momma hannie** : meanwhile I'm gonna take jihoon to aerie so we can buy some sexy stuff  
**secret twink** : as long as I don't look cute  
**momma hannie** : trust me, you won't  
**momma hannie** : you'll look irresistable  
**secret twink** : cool  
**momma hannie** : damn ur username really serves u justice  
**secret twink** : no  
**secret twink** : I don't think so  
**secret twink** : just no

1:32 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **wen minghao** : YALL  
**wen minghao** : LOOK  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**wen minghao** : wonwoo n i got brand new outfits  
**wen minghao** : courtesy of the 1 n only boo seungkwan  
**boo(ty)** : thank you, thank you  
**momma hannie** : wowwww  
**momma hannie** : u guys look great!!  
**momma hannie** : great style picks, seungkwan  
**boo(ty)** : thank you~~~~  
**boo(ty)** : how goes the shopping on the other side of the mall?  
**momma hannie** : really good  
**momma hannie** : jihoon found these really cute socks and paired them with an oversized sweater  
**momma hannie** : and here's the resutl:  
**momma hannie** :   
  
**momma hannie** : he surprisingly has a better taste in fashion than i thought  
**secret twink** : hey  
**momma hannie** : it's a compliment, sweetie  
**secret twink** : you know, I said I wanted to not look cute  
**secret twink** : but now that I actually have seen the outfit on me, I kind of like it  
**boo(ty)** : THERE SHE IS  
**boo(ty)** : see hun that wasn't so hard was it  
**secret twink** : actually it was  
**secret twink** : nothing came in my size  
**secret twink** : perks of being ridiculously short  
**boo(ty)** : we can try victoria's secret  
**boo(ty)** : they sometimes have smaller sizes  
**secret twink** : okay  
**momma hannie** : where are the rest of u?  
**wen minghao** : im @ calvin kleins  
**wen minghao** : ummm wonwoos next door in h&m i think  
**momma hannie** : okay i'm heading over to michael kors now  
**momma hannie** : if u need me, that's where i'll be  
**wen minghao** : got it

2:48 pm  
_the parents_

 **momma hannie:** what do u two think of this dress?  
**momma hannie** :  
  
**papa coups** : that looks great on you  
**papa coups** : I personally like the open back  
**dad shua** : what urged you to get a dress, han?  
**momma hannie** : idk  
**momma hannie** : just wanted to look good for the two best boyfriends in the world  
**papa coups** : well you'll look plenty pretty in that dress but just know you look perfect all the time <3  
**dad shua** : I'm kind of half hard  
**papa coups** : want me to come and help?  
**dad shua** : kay  
**momma hannie** : hey don't have too much fun without me  
**dad shua** : don't worry, we won't

3:02 pm  
_lovey-dovey_

 **my boo** : GUYS I FOUND THE GREATEST LACE THIGH-HIGHS  
**my boo** : oh whoops  
**hansolie <3**: what  
**hansolie <3**: um  
**hansolie <3**: sry dont compute  
**my boo** : you heard nothing  
**my boo** : you saw nothing  
**my boo** : got it?  
**hansolie <3**: how can i just forget that, kwannie?  
**hansolie <3**: u looked amazing in regular thigh highs  
**hansolie <3**: now ur torturing me with l a c e?  
**my boo** : yes  
**my boo** : i can't help it you look so cute and dumbstruck  
**my boo** : ur like a lovesick puppy  
**my boo** : it's adorkable  
**hansolie <3**: is that good or bad  
**my boo** : very good  
**my boo** : that's my type ;)  
**hansolie <3**: truly a match made in heaven  
**my boo** : indeed

3:35 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **wen minghao** : ya boi jus got a fresh new calven klein set  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : imma be gettin wild with the seasonings tonight  
**boo(ty)** : fam dats salt  
**wen minghao** : ik its so spicy  
**boo(ty)** : im not eatin ittttttttt  
**boo(ty)** : MINGHAO  
**wen minghao** : SEUNGKWAN  
**wen minghao** : AYYYYYYYY  
**momma hannie** : what  
**secret twink** : they both just recited a popular vine  
**secret twink** : by meechonmars, I believe  
**secret twink** : I only know him because he moved to youtube after vine died  
**momma hannie** : rip  
**boo(ty)** : guys quick change of subject  
**boo(ty)** : what do y'all think of these?  
**boo(ty)** : [image]  
**wen minghao** : BOI  
**momma hannie** : u better have sexted vernon with a picture of u in those by now or ur not my child  
**boo(ty)** : guys chill  
**boo(ty)** : i'll do it when i get back to mine

5:17 pm  
**mingyu's bf** : well i'd call that a successful day of shopping  
**mingyu's bf** : i'm very sated  
**secret twink:** same here  
**secret twink** : got some great new stuff ;)  
**danceismylife** : hello yes 911 i would like to report a heart attack  
**danceismylife** : and a slightly raised di k  
**docum** : do I have to go and check on him again?  
**dad shua** : please do  
**chan** : soonyoung hyung don't die!  
**docum** : he's fine  
**docum** : it was just a seizure he'll live  
**secret twink** : what  
**docum** : it's okay he's breathing  
**docum** : i mean granted he is gurgling slightly but  
**dad shua** : just throw some water on him and he'll come back  
**docum** : update: JOSHUA HYUNG WHY DID YOU SAY THAT  
**docum** : I'M TOO YOUNG AND INNOCENT TO DIE  
**docum** : CHAN I GIVE MY LAST RAYS OF SUNSHINE TO YOU  
**docum** : USE THEM WISELY, LITTLE ONE  
**docum** : *choke gag wheeze*  
**docum** : end scene  
**wen minghao** : what the fuck just happened  
**xu jun** : dont question it  
**xu jun** : it'll only hurt ur brain more  
**docum** : hey it's soonyoung  
**docum** : why the fuck did u tell seokmin to pour water on my face  
**dad shua** : cause it's funny  
**dad shua** : why else  
 **dad shua** : I mean granted I wasn’t expecting him to actually do it  
**docum** : you expected wrong  
**danceismylife** : also no   
 **danceismylife** : just no  
**docum** : i've been revived  
**danceismylife** : take this as a warning  
**danceismylife** : don't do it again  
**docum** : yes siree

7:31 pm

_baby boy has named the group chat "babe"_

**baby boy** : hey gyu  
**gyu** : yeah?  
**baby boy** :   
  
**baby boy** : does daddy like my new shoes?  
**gyu** : holy fucking shit  
**gyu** : fuck yes  
**gyu** : jfc  
**gyu** : goddamn  
**baby boy** : can daddy come help me take them off  
**gyu** : hhhhhhh wot  
**baby boy** : not the shoes  
**baby boy** : my clothes  
**gyu** : 2 seconds  
**baby boy** : ;P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all enjoyed the chapter!! i think that my love for androgynous people is showing whoops


	14. the flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> xu jun: fuckin minghao  
> xu jun: u said it wouldnt take u that long  
> xu jun: we almost missed our flight  
> wen minghao: were alive arent we

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i posted this chapter a lil early so enjoy (*^▽^*)

12:00 am

_wen minghao has added xu jun to a group chat_

_wen minghao has named the group chat "fuck me in the asshole"_

**xu jun** : haohao  
**xu jun** : we have to leave for the airport in 10 minutes  
**wen minghao** : thats still enouhg time for a bj  
**wen minghao** : pls?  
**xu jun** : 5 minutes per person  
**xu jun** : but hurry  
**wen minghao** : i can make u come in 3 psh pls

1:35 am  
**xu jun** : fuckin minghao  
**xu jun** : u said it wouldnt take u that long  
**xu jun** : we almost missed our flight  
**wen minghao** : were alive arent we  
**wen minghao** : i even got a sneaky cute bf pic in  
**wen minghao** : 

  
**wen minghao** : (｡♥‿♥｡)  
**mingyu's bf** : hey me too  
**mingyu's bf** :

  
**boo(ty)** : wait lol i think we all took one  
**boo(ty)** :

  
**wen minghao** : well ya gotta keep dem fans happy  
**wen minghao** : ya feel  
**boo(ty)** : yeah  
**mingyu's bf** : i'm planning on vlogging the trip  
**mingyu's bf** : anyone else?  
**boo(ty)** : meeeeeeeee  
**boo(ty)** : hansol is too  
**wen minghao** : jun n i r just gonna film on 1 camera and upload it to our collab channnel  
**dinnertime** : wait wait wait  
**dinnertime** : since when did u guys have a collab channel?  
**xu jun** : since last week  
**xu jun** : super new but we moved in together so we thought 'why not'  
**dinnertime** : thats lit dude  
**wen minghao** : we kno  
**boo(ty)** : hold up for a sec  
**boo(ty)** : where are you guys?  
**wen minghao** : @ back of plane  
**wen minghao** : wbu?  
**dinnertime** : seungkwans waving rn  
**dinnertime** : see us?  
**xu jun** : ye  
**momma hannie** : okay now that everyone knows where seungkwan is because he was so loud :)))))  
**momma hannie** : shua, cheollie, and i are across from seungkwan if any of u need us  
**chan** : I think dk hyung and I might come around a bit later  
**chan** : neither of us know how to put the tray thingy down  
**papa coups** : dw i'll come around later  
**dad shua** : we'll all be wandering around every now and then  
**wonu's bf** : what i'm awake  
**mingyu's bf:** go back to bed  
**momma hannie** : are u two not close to each other?  
**mingyu's bf:** no we're in the same row  
**mingyu's bf** : it's just that mingyu fucked up our seats  
**mingyu's bf** : and now this girl is sitting in between us  
**mingyu's bf:** AAAAND SHE JUST TRIED TO PUT HER BOOBS IN MY FACE AND TRIED TO KISS ME OKAY ABORT  
**mingyu's bf** : I'LL BE IN THE BATHROOM BARFING IF ANYONE NEEDS ME  
**dinnertime** : uh mingyu  
**dinnertime** : calm  
**dinnertime** : c a l m  
**wonu's bf** : who is calm  
**wonu's bf** : i don't know her  
**chan** : uh oh  
**papa coups** : here i'll come over  
**wen minghao** : pls dont do anythin stupid  
**wonu's bf** : does it look like i would  
**xu jun** : ...yes?  
**wonu's bf** : chill we're just going to get her moved  
**wonu's bf** : it's subtle but it's sending definite fuck off vibes  
**wonu's bf** : won's mine :(((((((((((  
**xu jun** : should've pulled a me and given him a hickey before u two left  
**xu jun** : ya know  
**xu jun** : ;)))))))))  
**boo(ty)** : and now you tops need to pull an us and create a gc just for the tops :) :) :) :)  
**boo(ty)** : because we ain't wantin to listen to any of this sex talk :) :) :) :) :)  
**xu jun** : actually wait

1:49 am

_xu jun has added soonyoung, vernon, papa cheol, daddy josh, and master mingyu to a group chat_

_xu jun has named the group chat "daddies"_

**xu jun** : so ;)  
**xu jun** : about hickies  
**master mingyu** : okay i'm not that possessive  
**vernon** : eh  
**daddy josh** : eh x2  
**papa cheol** : eh x3  
**soonyoung** : why am i in this gc  
**xu jun** : cause u top jihoon?  
**xu jun** : if not sorry you’re free to leave  
**soonyoung** : i-  
**soonyoung** : i don't top jihoon  
**soonyoung** : so imma leave  
**soonyoung** : have a good day everyone  
**papa cheol** : (you might in the near future)  
**daddy** **josh** : cheollie!  
**papa** **cheol** : father knows everything  
**xu jun** : okay  
**xu jun** : anyways  
**xu jun** : mingyu claim ya territory  
**xu jun** : piss all over the people who try and hit on wonwoo   
 **xu jun** : he does the same 4 u  
**master mingyu** : idk if he would let me  
**vernon** : he may act like he hates it afterwards  
**vernon** : but if u ask during the moment and he lets u then he's just playin and he secretly likes the hickey  
**vernon** : consent is key my dude   
 **vernon** : also communication  
**xu jun** : who is this  
**vernon** : vernon who else  
**xu jun** : no i mean like  
**xu jun** : who is this hippie old man character  
**xu jun** : u became so hippie just now  
**master mingyu** : ew crusty  
**vernon** : :|  
**vernon** : idk  
**xu jun** : aight let's go back to the main gc  
**xu jun** : just don't accidentally get the two gcs mixed up  
**xu jun** : it would be bad if u sent somethin really vulgar like i wanna stick my dick up so and so’s ass into the regular gc so  
**xu jun** : TEXT INTO THE RIGHT GC

1:52 am  
**wen minghao** : y wont this fuckin plain take off already  
**wen minghao** : i swear theyve used the same damn excuse of delays for the past 30 minutes  
**secret twink** : this is very late but I just got on the plane  
**secret twink** : 

  
**secret twink** : soonyoung and I bumped into each other in the airport  
**secret twink** : so I took a back shot while we were walking to the gate

1:54 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **boo(ty)** : GET THAT ASS  
**secret twink** : shush  
**mingyu's bf** : we're proud of you jihoon  
**momma hannie** : you've grown well :')  
**secret twink** : dear god  
**secret twink** : if this happens every single time I flirt I swear to god I'm going to stop flirting  
**momma hannie** : no no  
**momma hannie** : we'll be quiet  
**boo(ty)** : *quietly* ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃˢˢ  
**secret twink:** I'm trying

2:06 am  
_babe_

 **baby boy** : i'm still in the bathroom is it okay to come out  
**gyu** : yep  
**gyu** : hurry tho  
**gyu** : the plane's about to take off and I want to hold your hand  
**gyu** : I get scared :((((  
**baby boy** : i'm coming don't worry  
**baby boy** : ily  
**gyu** : ilyt <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this?? chapter?? was?? really?? difficult?? to?? write?? and?? i?? don't?? know?? why?????? it?? isn't?? even?? that?? long?????? lol hopefully the writing juices will return to me by saturday
> 
> be prepared for a shitload of soonhoon over the next few chapters cause they be getting together ;)


	15. the landing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> papa cheol: alright someone spill  
> papa cheol: who was fucking in the airplane bathroom

9:00 pm

 **wonu's bf** : aw wonu's tired ㅠㅠ  
**wonu's bf** : 

  
**wonu's bf** : poor bby :(  
**dinnertime** : well at least we landed  
**momma hannie** : how was the flight for everyone?  
**wen minghao** : spicy ;)  
**mingyu's bf:** i slept the entire time  
**chan** : seokmin hyung and i are scarred for life  
**docum** : pls don't ever let us sit by ourselves again  
**boo(ty)** : I watched mean girls and edited a shit ton of videos  
**danceismylife** : one word  
**danceismylife** : hurricane  
**mingyu's bf** : ?  
**dad shua** : care to explain  
**danceismylife** : jihoonie and i were on the plane and we were discussing stuff  
**danceismylife** : and i've always wanted to write and compose my own song  
**danceismylife** : and jihoonie's a producer  
**danceismylife** : so he's helping me make my own song  
**danceismylife** : i'm gonna call it 'hurricane'  
**danceismylife** : buy it on itunes when it comes out  
**secret twink** : I already regret agreeing to this

9:11 pm  
_daddies_

 **papa cheol** : alright someone spill  
**papa cheol** : who was fucking in the airplane bathroom  
**master mingyu** : wonu and i were cuddling but that's all we did  
**daddy josh** : cheollie, hannie, and I were all sitting at the front the entire time  
**soonyoung** : jihoon and i aren't dating yet  
**vernon** : didnt u leave?  
**soonyoung** : someone added me back  
**xu jun** : ;)  
**soonyoung** : and cause i’m not going into the bottom gc  
**xu jun** : ooh getem  
**vernon** : lol thats cuz they scary  
**vernon** : yo but give us the deets  
**vernon** : whatcha gonna be like  
**soonyoung** : uh hahahahah  
**master mingyu** : u don't know how to sex, do u?  
**soonyoung** : well i know i have a daddy kink  
**soonyoung** : and butt plug  
**soonyoung** : and lace  
**soonyoung** : and spanking  
**soonyoung** : restraint/blindfolds maybe?  
**soonyoung** : idk my previous partners were never that kinky  
**master mingyu** : well i don't blame them  
**master mingyu** : u wouldn't exactly think that a dancing youtuber is a kink god  
**soonyoung** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**papa cheol** : ahem  
**papa cheol** : jun  
**xu jun:** yes papa? ;)  
**papa cheol** : jun.  
**xu jun** : hahahaha shit  
**xu jun** : gotta dash  
**xu jun** : see ya @ teh gate  
**xu jun** : hao and i definitely weren't the ones fucking in the airplane bathroom  
**papa cheol** : WEN JUNHUI YOU RAT -jeonghan  
**papa cheol** : YOU ARE A DEAD CHILD TO ME -jeonghan  
**master mingyu** : CHEOL  
**master mingyu** : you can't let jeonghan hyung see what goes on in the top chat!!  
**master mingyu** : this is confidential information!!!!!!  
**daddy josh** : he's fighting to get it back  
**papa cheol** : no one panic hannie saw nothing

9:34 pm  
**momma hannie** : or did i ;)  
**wonu's bf** : FUCK NO  
**xu jun** : wait u cant do that  
**momma hannie** : mmmm i think i can  
**mingyu's bf** : ???  
**wen minghao** : wot  
**boo(ty)** : @ hyungs are u okay?  
**dinnertime** : 420 whatcha smokin  
**momma hannie** : hey i have news  
**momma hannie** : soonyoung's treating us all to dinner today!  
**momma hannie** : what a nice sonny boy  
**danceismylife** : what no i'm not

9:36 pm  
_momma hannie has added soonyoung to a group chat_

 **momma hannie** : you bet ur skinny ass u are  
**momma hannie** : i have screenshots and i am ready to blackmail  
**momma hannie** : didn't know u were into those things  
**danceismylife** : YOU CAN'T TELL JIHOON  
**danceismylife** : PLEASE I'LL BE SCARRED FOREVER  
**momma hannie** : as long as u pay for dinner  
**danceismylife** : DEAL  
**momma hannie** : ;)

9:42 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **momma hannie** : boy have i got news for you, jihoon  
**secret twink** : ?  
**momma hannie** : soonyoung has some special kinks  
**momma hannie** : i won’t go into details cause im not supposed to be saying this anyways but  
**momma hannie** : just information i thought u should know  
**momma hannie** : u can thank me later  
**boo(ty)** : HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD  
**wen minghao** : boi u better be doin dem squats daily  
**mingyu's bf** : my butt hurts for you  
**boo(ty)** : omg jihoon hyung's beet red lmfao  
**mingyu's bf** : the poor soul  
**wen minghao** : at least now we'll kno y jihoon cant sit down in th future if soonyoung is into spanking  
**wen minghao** : those hurt like hell, man  
 **wen minghao:**  i mean granted they are a huge turn on for me but  
**momma hannie** : same  
**boo(ty)** : one time vernon spanked me so hard i had two red hansol-sized handprints on my asscheeks for four days  
**boo(ty)** : f o u r d a y s  
**secret twink** : oh my god

10:36 pm  
**chan** : thanks for dinner soonyoung hyung!!!  
**danceismylife** : no problem :)))))))))))  
**momma hannie** : still salty?  
**danceismylife** : ab :) so :) fucking :) lutely :)  
**momma hannie** : oh relax  
**momma hannie** : don't get ur panties in a bunch  
**boo(ty)** : um u should be saying that to jihoon hyung  
**boo(ty)** : cause ya know ;)))))))  
**secret twink** : shut your tiny little fucking mouth  
**boo(ty)** : aight aight  
**wen minghao** : this is so amusing lol  
**secret twink** : is my pain and suffering something that you should derive entertainment from  
**xu jun** : o shite

11:31 pm

 **xu jun** : we finally got to the hotel  
**xu jun** : hao's already conked out  
**xu jun** :  
  
**papa coups** : goodnight from jeonghan and I  
**papa coups** : 

  
**papa coups** : jisoo's already asleep  
**dinnertime** : 

  
**dinnertime** : boo and i say goodnight too  
**wonu's bf** : wonwoo and i are already in bed so no pic but  
**wonu's bf** : goodnight from the both of us  
**chan** : goodnight hyungs!!!  
**docum** : sleep well!  
**docum** : see you all in the morning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (#jeonghan's a total snitch someone stop him 2k17) lol
> 
> the long-awaited soonhoon date is next chapter!!!!!!! oooohoOHOoOhOHhhhoaHoOoehohoOhho i'm so excited and super hyped
> 
> come befriend me on tumblr @ macaroonmin!!
> 
> ly all~ have a good day/night!!


	16. the official soonhoon first date pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secret twink: AH HELP I'M PANICKING  
> secret twink: WHAT DO I WEAR  
> secret twink: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DO ON DATES  
> boo(ty): CHILD  
> secret twink: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated names:  
> seungcheol - papa coups/papa cheol  
> vernon - dinnertime  
> mingyu - wonu's bf/master mingyu  
> wonwoo - mingyu's bf  
> soonyoung - danceismylife  
> minghao - wen minghao  
> jun - xu jun  
> chan - chan  
> dk - docum  
> seungkwan - boo(ty)  
> jisoo - dad shua  
> jeonghan - momma hannie  
> woozi - secret twink

7:00 am

 **xu jun** : what a lovely day  
**momma hannie** : huh  
**xu jun** : hey i have an explanation okay  
**xu jun** :  
  
**xu jun** : i woke up like this  
**boo(ty)** : did someone speak beyoncé  
**boo(ty)** : because yes i speak that  
**xu jun** : not intentionally  
**boo(ty)** : aw fuck you  
**xu jun** : *offended gasp*  
**boo(ty)** : you got my hopes up  
**xu jun** : u know what i'm done with this  
**xu jun** : never talk to me or my 12 children ever again  
**momma hannie** : stay in ya lane boi  
**dad shua** : we're watching you, jun  
**xu jun** : this family sucks

10:03 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** : what do you guys think?  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : I LOVE  
**wen minghao** : damn boo slay  
**momma hannie** : not to sure about the bra, but everything else is great  
**wen minghao** : y  
**momma hannie** : u want to make sure mingyu can make it through the day  
**momma hannie** : let the poor guy live  
**boo(ty)** : maybe gyu/wonwoo can just take a lot of cold showers??  
**boo(ty)** : ooh i have an idea  
**boo(ty):**  give each other handjobs and then right when both of you are about to cum just shove a cock ring on and say u gotta dash  
**boo(ty)** : i'll be laughing when i see his face  
**secret twink** : okay but you don't want him to be suffering all day  
**secret twink** : haven't you had a really hard boner tucked into jeans?  
**secret twink** : annoying as all hell  
**boo(ty)** : no one ever said he couldn't finish himself off  
**secret twink** : still  
**boo(ty)** : eh i can see  
**boo(ty)** : u know what just do what feels right for u wonwoo hyung  
**mingyu's bf:** well if i don't wear the undershirt then i have to have my nipples out  
**mingyu's bf** : or change my outfit  
**mingyu's bf** : but i really like this outfit  
**momma hannie** : then wear the outfit  
**mingyu's bf** : sure?  
**mingyu's bf** : do i have approval from everyone  
**boo(ty)** : ofc  
**wen minghao** : hell ye  
**momma hannie** : mhm  
**secret twink** : sure  
**mingyu's bf:** okay :)

10:14 am  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : vidcon 2017 lets goooooooooo  
**wen minghao** : ye yeet  
**danceismylife** : ugh shut up  
**danceismylife** : how did u get any sleep last night  
**danceismylife** : my jet lag was killer  
**wen minghao** : the power of a good fuck  
**danceismylife** : gross  
**danceismylife** : i swear u two are like rabbits  
**danceismylife** : just fucking anytime anywhere  
**papa coups** : hey just a quick reminder  
**papa coups** : you all know that we have a pre-party from 5:00-7:00 pm  
**papa coups** : then straight after that from 7:00-8:30 pm we have a youtube onstage  
**momma hannie:** minghao, soonyoung, and chan are filming a small collab with other dancers from 3:00-4:00 pm if i remember correctly  
**momma hannie** : dk is performing for a small group of fans from 11:30-12:00 pm  
**momma hannie** : and mingyu is planning on just hanging and talking with some fans at around 3:00-4:00 as well  
**momma hannie** : anything else i need to add to the schedule?  
**secret twink** : I have a meet and greet from 10:30 am-12:00 pm  
**secret twink** : and then after that Soonyoung and I have our date  
**chan** : fun!!!!  
**dinnertime** : spice  
**danceismylife** : (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

10:17 am  
_chan has added dancer soonie hyung! and singer dk hyung! to a group chat_

 **chan** : good luck on your date today!!!  
**singer dk hyung!** : we know you've been crushing on him since forever so  
**singer dk hyung!** : best of luck!!  
**dancer soonie hyung!** : aw thank you  
**dancer soonie hyung!** : i'm gonna try my best to woo him  
**chan** : we support and love you!!!!  
**singer dk hyung!** : don't forget!!!  
**dancer soonie hyung!** : (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว oh you guyssss

10:29 am  
**secret twink** : 

  
**secret twink:** oh my god why are there so many people here  
**momma hannie:** your music's good!  
**dad shua** : be proud  
**secret twink** : ahhh I have a stage now  
**secret twink** : piano and singing  
**secret twink** : gotta go  
**wonu's bf** : break a leg!  
**wonu's bf:**  man he still manages to text in perfect grammar even when panicked and rushed

12:17 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : AH HELP I'M PANICKING  
**secret twink** : WHAT DO I WEAR  
**secret twink** : WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN DO ON DATES  
**boo(ty)** : CHILD  
**secret twink** : yes  
**boo(ty)** : how may the fashion police help  
**secret twink** : okay I have some options but I have no sense of fashion so I don't know what looks good and what doesn't  
**secret twink** : hELP  
**boo(ty)** : say no more  
**boo(ty)** : i'll be there in 5  
**boo(ty)** : 3 if i run but athleticism was never my expertise so  
**boo(ty)** : don't be expecting that  
**momma hannie** : run boo!  
**momma hannie** : this is what u were made to do  
**wen minghao** : n sounds liek hoonie over dere needs a lotta help  
**boo(ty)** : IM SPRINTBIING  
**boo(ty)** : I'''LLL BE OVVBER SOONN  
**secret twink** : thank you

12:24 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : over much debate and tough decision I finally have a nice outfit  
**boo(ty)** : drumroll please  
**wen minghao** : brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrup  
**boo(ty)** : ...that was strangely accurate  
**wen minghao** : used to be a drummer man  
**secret twink** :  
  
**secret twink** : this is the finished look  
**momma hannie** : wow! it looks so good!  
**secret twink** : :)  
**wen minghao** : simple but layered  
**wen minghao** : i like it  
**boo(ty)** : thank you, thank you

12:25 pm  
_daddies_

 **soonyoung** :

  
**soonyoung** : look good?  
**papa cheol:** looks great !  
**xu jun** : 10/10 would bang  
**xu jun** : if i wasnt loyal

_vernon has renamed the group chat to "#jun ain't loyal"_

**xu jun** : are u kidding  
**xu jun** : im the loyalest  
**xu jun** : fuck u vernon  
**vernon** : u wish  
**soonyoung** : GUYS  
**soonyoung** : wish me luck?  
**vernon** : sure man  
**xu jun** : good luck fam

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally the soonhoon date!!!! results will be posted on saturday ;)))))  
> okay but let's be real chan and dk are the real mvp's
> 
> i'm sorry in advance if i got boners all wrong as i've never had one in my life and i had to base things off of some good ol' googling rip me
> 
> thanks for all the comments and kudos ahhhhh i never expected this many :'))))
> 
> ly all and have a good day/night! stay healthy~


	17. the official soonhoon first date pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secret twink: holy shit I just went on a date with kwon soonyoung  
> boo(ty): how did the date go?  
> secret twink: fucking amazing  
> secret twink: we're going to go on another one when we get back  
> boo(ty): wink wonk

12:26 pm

 **secret twink** :  
  
**secret twink:** we're here  
**secret twink** : it's so quiet and cute I kind of like it  
**boo(ty)** : awh couple goals  
**secret twink** : not yet  
**momma hannie** : LEE JIHOON  
**momma hannie** : GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND TALK TO UR DATE  
**secret twink** : he's not even here right now  
**secret twink** : I'm waiting in a booth while he takes pictures with fans  
**momma hannie** : boi he dead  
**dad shua** : now hannie  
**papa coups** : remember you've gone 31 days anger free!  
**momma hannie:** fuck that  
**wen minghao** : welp

12:47 pm  
_momma hannie has added soonyoung to a group chat_

_momma hannie has changed soonyoung's name to child of satan_

**child of satan** : y  
**momma hannie** : GO ON UR DATE WITH JIHOON  
**momma hannie** : U COMPLAIN ALL THIS TIME BOUT HOW U WANT TO KISS HIM AND CUDDLE HIM AND LAY UNDER THE STARS WITH HIM AND DANCE WITH HIM INN THE RAIN  
**momma hannie** : AND NOW UR FINALLY GETTING A CHANCE OOF DOING THESE THINGS W JIHOON AND UR TAKING PICTURES WITH FANS  
**momma hannie** : TELL THOSE FANS THAT UR ON AN OUTING WITH A PERSON THAT'S VERY SPECIAL TO YOU AND I’M SURE THEY'LL UNDERSTAND  
**momma hannie** : NOW GO BEFORE I COMMIT MURDER YOU INSOLENT BEAST  
**child of satan:** okay okay

12:49 pm  
**secret twink** : jeonghan hyung, what did you do?  
**wen minghao** : y u askin  
**secret twink** : soonyoung just came over here and did this  
**secret twink** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : BITCH I JUST FELL OFF MY CHAIR  
**dinnertime** : that was not entirely a lie  
**boo(ty)** : CUTTEEEEEEEEE  
**docum** : aw!!!  
**wen minghao** : a work of art  
**secret twink:** shut up.  
**dad shua** : jihoon  
**secret twink** : yeah?  
**dad shua** : I'll make a deal with you  
**dad shua** : hannie's in the bathroom but I'll do both you and soonyoung a favor and delete the messages on his phone if you'll go back to your date  
**secret twink** : deal  
**dad shua** : okay now go  
**secret twink** : you're my favorite parent now  
**dad shua** : ;)  
**papa coups** : I am so offended

2:21 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : holy shit I just went on a date with kwon soonyoung  
**boo(ty)** : how did the date go?  
**secret twink** : fucking amazing  
**secret twink** : we're going to go on another one when we get back  
**boo(ty)** : wink wonk  
**momma hannie** : i'm so happy for you!  
**wen minghao** : u make a grown man cri  
**secret twink** : I seriously want to leave this group chat but I bet the top group chat is worse  
**momma hannie** : oh yeah definitely  
**momma hannie** : trust me i've seen things  
**boo(ty)** : ooh he snitching  
**momma hannie** : a momma's gotta do what a momma's gotta do  
**wen minghao** : best mother award goes to jeonghan  
**wen minghao** : feedin her babies w this good tea  
**wen minghao** : m fuckin sip sip  
**boo(ty)** : swish swish bitch

4:02 pm  
**danceismylife** :  
  
**danceismylife** : what do u think for thumbnail of today's meet & greet vlog?  
**wen minghao** : its lit ma dude  
**xu jun** : i wasnt even supposed to be in there but okay  
**chan** : i like it hyung!!!!!  
**chan** : we look so cool!!  
**docum** : nicee  
**papa coups** : reminder that you all have an hour to get ready before the pre-party  
**wen minghao** : o shit almost forgot bout that  
**wen minghao** : i owe u a solid one pops  
**papa coups** : don't worry about it  
**papa coups:** just hurry !  
**boo(ty)** : if anyone needs help with makeup i'm always a text away

4:47 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **wen minghao** : my bitch is readyyyyyy  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : jun's outfit is on point!! good job minghao  
**mingyu's bf** : gyu's looking tasty :P  
**mingyu's bf:**  
  
**mingyu's bf** : but honestly so am I cause I'm also wearing a tux so :P x2

4:50 pm  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **xu jun** :  
  
**xu jun** : minghao looks really goooddddddd  
**papa cheol** : where are you ?  
**xu jun** : I took this earlier but rn we're in the uber on the way there  
**xu jun** : dw we'll be there soon  
**papa cheol** : wait whose turn is it to show off their bf  
**daddy josh** : vernon hasn't done it in a while  
**papa cheol** : vernon  
**vernon** :  
  
**vernon** : boo and i are cute  
**vernon** : okay that's all  
**master** **mingyu** : man u really need to step up ur couples game  
**master mingyu** : once we get back the boyfriend games™ resume  
**master mingyu** : u best be prepared to be the most possessive bf ever  
**vernon** : i am  
**vernon** : its just in subtle ways  
**xu jun** : site aite thats chill  
**master mingyu:**  we support all levels of possessiveness and even no possessiveness in this gc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piCtureS aRe rEaLLy hArD tO FinD wOwwiE but they're also hella cute and perfect so it's worth
> 
> this chapter was really fun to write for some reason idk i like them dressing up n shit
> 
> thank you for all the comments and kudos!!! they make my day ꒰⌗´͈ ᵕ ॣ`͈⌗꒱৩


	18. boring meetings and distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wen minghao: F A V O R I T I S M  
> momma hannie: at its finest ;)  
> boo(ty): i like the parents more and more as the days go by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as a reminder "lovey-dovey" is the chat between vernon and kwannie~

9:02 am

  
**xu jun** : whassup yall  
**dinnertime** : ...minghao?  
**xu jun** : howd ya kno  
**momma hannie** : jun would never text like that  
**wen minghao** : how do u know i wouldnt  
**dad shua** : did you two seriously trade phones?  
**xu jun** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**xu jun** : keeps trust in the relationship ya kno  
**wen minghao** : that and we like to see what dick pics we can find  
**wen minghao** : of each other  
**wen minghao** : also honestly minghao ur killing me stop  
**xu jun** : ???  
**wen minghao** :  
  
  
  
  
  
**wen minghao** : u hav so many selcas on ur phone  
**wen minghao** : and you look amazing in all of them  
**wen minghao** : do u see my point  
**xu jun** : lol nah son  
**wen minghao** : okay the point is i lov my bf  
**wen minghao** : u look s o good all the time  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**xu jun** : aw, bitch that's so sweet  
**wen minghao** : ik  
**xu jun** : <3  
**wen minghao** : lov ya  
**docum** :  
  
**wonu's bf** : i'm so confused so who is who  
**mingyu's bf** : dear god mingyu  
**boo(ty)** : oh and there the moment goes  
**boo(ty)** : just watch it fly away  
**boo(ty)** : and she's gone  
**boo(ty)** : how sad  
**dad shua** : shush let the boi live  
**boo(ty)** : i was merely narrating what was happening i didn't say anything  
**dad shua** : *deep sigh*  
**papa coups** : I know shua, I know

9:46 am  
**dinnertime** : i'm already bored by this meeting  
**dinnertime** : like seriously "from script to millions of screens: how to write and market a narrrative web series that goes viral"  
**dinnertime** : wtf  
**dinnertime** : and y  
**wonu's bf** : how about you get off ur phone and find out?  
**dinnertime** : m good  
**danceismylife** : oh yeah i forgot about that  
**danceismylife** : i have another thing rn  
**danceismylife** : how goes the meeting  
**xu jun** : ugh terrible  
**xu jun** : i fuckin hate meetings  
**xu jun** : plus im not planning on making a web series anytime soon  
**xu jun** : i only came cause i was dragged by hao  
**dinnertime** : rip

9:50 am  
_lovey-dovey_

 **my boo** : hey i have something that could distract you  
**my boo** :  
  
**hansolie <3**: really  
**hansolie <3**: now of all times  
**hansolie <3**: fuck when did u take this  
**my boo** : earlier today at the hotel  
**my boo** : i'm planning on wearing them as a special treat soon ;)  
**hansolie <3**: hhhhhhhhhhhh fuck  
**my boo** : ;))))

10:13 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : h elp  
**momma hannie** : JIHOON  
**momma hannie** : pay attention to the meeting!!!!  
**secret twink** : I'm not going to make a web series ever and nothing in this presentation concerns me.  
**secret twink** : I think I can let myself relax this time  
**secret twink** : does anyone want to hear my woes or do I have to complain elsewhere  
**boo(ty)** : pray, do tell  
**secret twink** : okay  
**secret twink** : Soonyoung just sent me these with no context and I don't know what to do  
**secret twink** :  
  
  
  
**secret twink** : how do I respond  
**wen minghao** : damn u lettin him call u cute?  
**secret twink** : find the fucking door and exit.  
**wen minghao** : aight aight geez just show him that u appreciate it, if you do  
**boo(ty)** : send him a reaction pic in response, or like a selca  
**secret twink** : like this?  
**secret twink** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : YES PERFECT  
**boo(ty)** : just respond in a very you way i mean he likes you for you  
**secret twink** : okay thanks

10:24 am  
_jihoon has added soonyoung to a group chat_

_jihoon has named the group chat "maybe boyfriends"_

**jihoon** : [image]  
**soonyoong** :  
  
**soonyoung** : awh <3

_soonyoung has changed jihoon's name to jihoonie_

**jihoonie** :  


**soonyoung** : cute~~~~~~~

10:30 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : he liked it  
**momma hannie** : :)))))))))))  
**boo(ty)** : told ya  
**secret twink** : thanks kwan  
**wen minghao** : *coughfavoritismcough*  
**momma hannie** : we all have them ngl  
**momma hannie** : don't tell but  
**momma hannie** : shua's favorite is dokyeom  
**momma hannie** : coups's favorite is kwannie  
**momma hannie** : and my favorite is obviously chan  
**wen minghao** : F A V O R I T I S M  
**momma hannie** : at its finest ;)  
**boo(ty)** : i like the parents more and more as the days go by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys noticed, yes, i didn't update this wednesday and decided to let myself have a break cause this week has been v stressful and the first quarter is ending soon (which means a shit ton of tests + homework) rip me :'(
> 
> *quietly* i loVE JUNHAO AND SOONHOON
> 
> anyways, i hope you all have a lovely day/night and sleep well!!


	19. the debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boo(ty): here we are, in the ring  
> boo(ty): two competitors going head to head  
> boo(ty): on one side, we have minghao, star champion and sasser  
> boo(ty): on the other side, we have wonwoo, quiet and reserved most of the time but scary when he's pissed  
> boo(ty): the match will start in 3..2..1  
> boo(ty): go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just as a small reminder: the gc titled "babe" is the gc between wonwoo and mingyu
> 
> (also please read the endnote, as i have changed my updating schedule! (dw it's nothing major, just a slight lil thing))

9:35 am  
_babe_

 **gyu** : oOoooH i'm so excitedddd  
**baby boy** : why did u lea ve me  
**baby boy** : it's so cold in the room  
**baby boy** : and the bed is freezing  
**gyu** : im sorry babe i promise i'll make it up to u  
**gyu** : but im in a meeting rn and its for the art of cooking online!!!  
**gyu** : that's what i do!!!!  
**baby boy** : yes, yes it is gyu  
**baby boy** : have fun babe~  
**gyu** : thank you!!!  
**gyu** : i promise i'll take u out on a date right after this :)  
**baby boy** : :))

11:14 am  
**boo(ty)** : [image]  
**boo(ty)** : the gag trio™ is off to an interview~  
**boo(ty)** : wish ya favorite bitches good luck  
**dad shua** : good luck from the parents!  
**chan** : you'll do great hyungs!!!!!!  
**boo(ty)** : vernon ur coming to catch the end of the interview, right?  
**dinnertime** : wouldn't miss it for the world

11:31 am  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : brunch date with my one and only <3  
**wonu's bf** : love you princess~  
**wen minghao** : GAGCOUGHWHAT  
**wen minghao** : m sorry wot was that  
**mingyu's bf** : oh don't tell me u don't like being called princess  
**wen minghao** : i mean  
**wen minghao** : m good wid kitten  
**wen minghao** : baby  
**wen minghao** : angel  
**wen minghao** : but princess?  
**wen minghao** : nah m good fam  
**mingyu's bf** : we should not be having this conversation in this gc

11:42 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** : okay minghoe wanna go  
**wen minghao** : les go  
**wen minghao** : put em up  
**boo(ty)** : here we are, in the ring  
**boo(ty)** : two competitors going head to head  
**boo(ty)** : on one side, we have minghao, star champion and sasser  
**boo(ty)** : on the other side, we have wonwoo, quiet and reserved most of the time but scary when he's pissed  
**boo(ty)** : the match will start in 3..2..1  
**boo(ty):** go!  
**momma hannie** : BOO SEUNGKWAN GO BACK TO UR INTERVIEW RIGHT THIS SECOND  
**boo(ty)** : chill chill it's break time  
**boo(ty)** : i'm not that bad  
**momma hannie** : i beg to differ  
**boo(ty)** : no one asked for ur opinion okay  
**boo(ty)** : let me live  
**boo(ty)** : okay the match resumes  
**boo(ty)** : the attack:  
**wen minghao** : aight so i am p homo for jun n i am perfectly fine wid anythin  
**wen minghao** : say any name, ive probs been called it  
**wen minghao** : but the miNuTe jun calls me princess im out  
**mingyu's bf** : what's ur problem with princess?  
**wen minghao** : ahem okey storytime  
**wen minghao** : once upon a time  
**wen minghao** : ya boi walked into his friends bday party  
**wen minghao** : n let me just say this was a lit party  
**wen minghao** : until this fuckin CLOWN walks in  
**wen minghao** : istg he was the most ugliest n scariest of dem all  
**wen minghao** : like fnaf-worthy spoopy  
**wen minghao** : now keep in mind dis was a VERY close friend ot me  
**wen minghao** : so im at the party gettin turnt n drinkin n shit  
**wen minghao** : which obv leads to me havin to pee  
**wen minghao** : which leads to me goin to teh bathroom  
**wen minghao** : I WALK IN N ALL I HEAR IS REALLY LOUDLY MOANING  
**wen minghao** : AND THEN I HEAR THE CLOWN SAY "YEAH, COME FOR ME PRINCESS"  
**wen minghao** : N NOW EVERYTIME SOMEONE SAYS PRINCESS I HEAR IT IN HIS VOICE  
**wen minghao** : AHhhhhhhHhkgl b

11:48 am  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **xu jun** : ...do u think they're okay  
**xu jun** : they haven't come back to the main gc in a while  
**daddy josh** : I don't think they'd be that petty and actually have an argument about what pet names to use  
**master mingyu** : they're probably onto another topic by now

11:50 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **boo(ty)** : and now the defense  
**mingyu's bf** : okay now i get why u don't like to be called by that name  
**mingyu's bf** : but let the poor clown live  
**mingyu's bf** : he's just a smol man trying to make a living  
**mingyu's bf** : also i haven't had any bad experiences so lol can't relate  
**mingyu's bf** : also x2 being called princess also helps me get into subspace when i need to  
**mingyu's bf** : so there  
**boo(ty)** : phew that was intense  
**boo(ty)** : i have to go now soMeOnE tAkE mY pLaCE  
**momma hannie** : yea nah  
**momma hannie** : jihoon?  
**secret twink** : ...  
**secret twink** : am I seriously the only one left?  
**wen minghao** : mhm  
**secret twink** : ugh  
**secret twink** : I'll continue this then, I suppose  
**secret twink:** brawl's over make up and talk  
**secret twink** : don't get #triggered or I will come back and kick all of your asses  
**momma hannie** : why u so grumpy  
**secret twink** : I'm actually in a delightful mood thank you very much  
**momma hannie** : why  
**wen minghao** : deLigHtFuL  
**secret twink** : ......,...........,.i,,,,,,  
**secret twink** : ask soonyoung   
**secret twink** : also minghao would you like to join me in a private group chat? :)  
**secret twink** : uh fuck no

 

 

11:53 am  
_momma hannie has added child of satan to a group chat_

_momma hannie has changed child of satan's name to soonie_

**momma hannie** : soonie~ my favorite child  
**soonie** : ...what do u want from me  
**momma hannie** : i just want u to tell me somethinggg  
**momma hannie** : why is jihoon in such a good mood?  
**soonie** : nO NeVER  
**momma hannie** : tell me or you will receive the wrath of the parents for the rest of your lives  
**soonie** : idc  
**momma hannie** : i'll prove to dk and chan that ur not as pure as u seem  
**momma hannie** : i'll taint them  
**soonie** : NO  
**momma hannie** : tell me  
**soonie** : FINE  
**soonie** : for me and jihoonie's first time i bottomed  
**soonie** : OKAY THERE  
**momma hannie** : wait seriously?  
**momma hannie** : that’s great  
**soonie** : yeah  
**soonie** : he destroyed me with that thing  
**momma hannie** : wow  
**soonie** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**momma hannie** : honestly that's pretty lit bro  
**soonie** : please don't ever say that again  
**momma hannie** : too late  
**momma** **hannie** : i've become one of the cool kids now   
**soonie** : JEONGHAN NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ: i have decided to make an alteration to my updating schedule because school is a bitch :))))) so from now on towards the end of each quarter i will only be uploading on saturdays only, instead of both saturdays and wednesdays. i will try to let you guys know in advance when i will start uploading weekly and for how long, which should usually be no longer than 2 weeks. thank you for all your patience and support!!
> 
> have a lovely day/night~ stay happy and healthy!


	20. in which soonyoung bottoms for jihoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> secret twink: second date today HELP  
> momma hannie: mmmm that's buzzfeed tasty  
> momma hannie: u planning on doing the does again  
> momma hannie: cause then i would give soonyoung lube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cLaP iS SoOooO goOD
> 
> (LISTEN TO SEVENTEEN'S NEW ALBUMMMMM)

8:30 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : second date today HELP  
**momma hannie** : mmmm that's buzzfeed tasty  
**momma hannie** : u planning on doing the does again  
**momma hannie** : cause then i would give soonyoung lube  
**momma hannie** : in case y’all want to fuck again  
**secret twink** : Jeonghan what the fuck  
**secret twink** : I'm not even going to question how you know that because I'm too busy PANICKING  
**boo(ty)** : tis fine, oh fashion newbie  
**secret twink** : fashion newbie?  
**boo(ty)** : let me indulge myself  
**secret twink** : just help me  
**boo(ty)** : again?  
**boo(ty)** : this better be quick cause i have a beauty stage in an hour  
**secret twink** : what no  
**secret twink** : if it's inconvenient then don't come  
**secret twink** : I'll just text my options  
**boo(ty)** : aight  
**boo(ty)** : send dem pics ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
**secret twink** : okay option #1  
**secret twink** :  
  
**secret twink** : option #2  
**boo(ty)** : aH  
**boo(ty)** : i'm gonna diddly darn stop you right there honey  
**boo(ty)** : i dont need to see any more options cause im already decided on that one  
**boo(ty)** : cute, casual, and most importantly ur style  
**boo(ty)** : it's a safe option  
**secret twink** : Jeonghan hyung, Minghao, Wonwoo, your opinions?  
**mingyu's bf** : looks nice  
**momma hannie** : i approve  
**wen minghao** : its a yes from me  
**secret twink** : okay I'm going to wear this then  
**secret twink** : any oppositions?  
**secret twink** : speak now or forever hold your peace  
**boo(ty)** : just wear the damn outfit  
**secret twink** : I'm your hyung.  
**boo(ty)** : beauty calls gotta zayn  
**wen minghao** : ay one direction was a good group okey  
**wen minghao** : they didnt deserve dis  
**wen minghao** : in this house we appreciate one direction  
**momma hannie** : excuse you me and my boyfriends decide what we do and do not appreciate in this household  
**wen minghao** : bithc  
**momma hannie** : asshoel  
**mingyu's bf** : idiost

8:47 am  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **soonyoung** : okey i have an outfit prepared and ready to go  
**soonyoung** : any last words of wisdom  
**papa cheol** : well  
**papa cheol** : not so much of advice but more of a question  
**daddy josh** : soooo, soonie  
**daddy josh** : hannie told us a lil something  
**daddy josh** : and  
**daddy josh** : well you see  
**soonyoung** : nO  
**soonyoung** : JIHOOM AND I DIDN’T HAVE SEX ON OUR FIRST DATE OKAY

8:52 am  
**chan** : soonyoung hyung, you and jihoon hyung had sex on your first date?  
**wen minghao** : wot  
**wen minghao** : how did chan find that out before the rest of us  
**mingyu's bf:**  well i mean look at his profile pic on youtube  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : you can't look at him and not say that he's wouldn’t get laid on the first date  
**danceismylife** : L;HDFA;SHDFKEJALKSCHAN STOP LOOKING INTO THE TOP GC  
**danceismylife** : IT JUST HAPPENED SUDDENLY  
**wen minghao** : uh beg to differ  
**xu jun** : soonyoung me and minghao literally live rite nex to jihoon  
**xu jun** : y’all had a nice long convo leading up to the sex  
**wen minghao** : and we also did not see u leave jihoon's place, meanin u stayed the night  
**danceismylife** : AHS;R; THIS IS NOT HAPPENING  
**danceismylife** : HOONIE TELL THEM THAT I'M NOT THAT BAD  
**secret twink** : ...no input  
**danceismylife** : D:  
**secret twink** : I'm sorry it's too cute seeing you all flustered  
**xu jun** : oh shit wiat  
**docum** : ?  
**xu jun** : this fucks up the gcs  
**xu jun** : SOONYOUNG U LIED  
**xu jun** : U AN OCCASIONAL TOP  
**soonyoung** : I DIDN'T EVEN ASK TO BE PUT INTO THE TOP GC  
**soonyoung** : YOU ALL JUST ASSUMED THAT I WOULD TOP REGULARLH ALSO HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT I BOTTOMED  
**secret twink** : it isn’t really an issue or secret  
**momma hannie** : well soonyoung's seen too much of the top gc to join ours  
**momma hannie** : and jihoon's seen too much of our gc to leave  
**papa coups** : so just make them stay in the same gc that they're in now  
**papa coups** : easy  
**momma hannie** : that was hot  
**docum** :  
  
**momma hannie** : shit that was supposed to be private  
**chan** : D: x2  
**momma hannie** : CHANNIE NO  
**dinnertime** : holdup m here  
**dinnertime** : gmorning  
**dad shua** : where have you been all morning?  
**dinnertime** : whaddya mean  
**dinnertime** : it's 9:00 am  
**dad shua** : everyone else is up  
**dad shua** : and didn't seungkwan have a stage?  
**momma hannie** : you aren't going to watch it?  
**xu jun** : you should go support your boyfriend  
**wen minghao** : considering he went to all of your really long and boring gaming stuff  
**dinnertime** : it's too early for thissss  
**wen minghao** : dude  
**wen minghao** : stop bein a dicky bf n go to seungkwan's thingy  
**dinnertime** : okay okay  
**momma hannie** : ..../  
**momma hannie** : u better not be still sitting there  
**momma hannie** : MOVE UR SKINNY ASS  
**dinnertime** : OKAY  
**momma hannie** : and just for that u better take seungkwan out somewhere nice for dinner today  
**momma hannie** : or u best be prepared for the worst whoopin of ur life  
**dinnertime** : aight aight i got it  
**dad shua** : good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mental health is a bbbbitch but i'm back :)))))
> 
> and for the lack of updates, here's four chapters in one day!!!!! hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> have a lovely day/night~


	21. anniversaries and promise rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingyu's bf: gyu just gave the most heartwarming speech and gift as an anniversary celebration  
> mingyu's bf: we have matching promise rings now!!!

4:26 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : :')  
**mingyu's bf** : gyu just gave the most heartwarming speech and gift as an anniversary celebration  
**mingyu's bf** : we have matching promise rings now!!!  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : and wrist drawings!!  
**wen minghao** : aw das hella kyoot  
**secret twink** : how long?  
**mingyu's bf** : mingyu's dick or the length of time we've been together?  
**secret twink** : jesus christ of course not Mingyu's dick size  
**secret twink** : I don't need to know that  
**mingyu's bf** : ur loss  
**mingyu's bf** : aHEm anyways this is our fourth year together  
**wen minghao** : awh!!!!  
**momma hannie** : still going strong, i see  
**momma hannie** : (◠‿◠✿)  
**mingyu's bf** : yep  
**mingyu's bf** : i love him a lot  
**boo(ty)** : we can tell, hun  
**momma hannie** : seungkwan!!  
**momma hannie** : did hansol do anything yet?  
**boo(ty)** : lol////what  
**momma hannie** : that brat

4:32 pm  
_momma hannie has added dinnertime to a group chat_

 **momma hannie** : when  
**dinnertime** : i'm literally making reservations right now  
**dinnertime** : it's really hard to get a booking to a good restaurant on a saturday with such short notice  
**dinnertime** : but i promise i'll make his night   
 **dinnertime** : i really want to do this for him  
**dinnertime** : okay?  
**momma hannie** : u better act quickly  
**dinnertime** : i am  
**momma hannie** : ...i raised u well  
**dinnertime** : and this is where i leave  
**dinnertime** : bye felicia  
**momma hannie** : don't u bye felicia me young man

4:54 pm  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **hansol** : help i'm in a midlife crisis rn  
**hansol** : anyone know any fancy restuarants that might have open spots at this time??  
**master mingyu** : well wonwoo and i are going to this place downtown for our anniversary dinner  
**master mingyu** : i can see if i can squeeze you guys in  
**hansol** : wait  
**master mingyu** : ?  
**hansol** : scratch that  
**hansol** : do you think kwannie will like a rooftop dinner?  
**daddy josh** : yeah for sure  
**hansol** : okay good  
**hansol** : if i don't text back within the next hour it probably means that either seungkwan hated the date, i'm getting some good ass, or he loved the date and we're having nice conversation  
**hansol** : whatever happens i'll try to update  
**daddy josh** : good luck hansol!  
**daddy josh** : go now  
**hansol** : wiat is my tie straight  
**daddy josh** : I can't even see you  
**hansol** : that was directed at jun who's at my house  
**xu jun** : yeet ~minghao  
**xu jun** : came with jun + textin from jun's phone, but ur tie looks fine  
**xu jun:** have fun byeeeeeee  
**daddy josh** : he out the door yet?  
**xu jun** : now he is  
**hansol** : i forgot my keys  
**xu jun** : I'LL LET U IN U IDIOTFACE  
**xu jun** : i ain't goin nowhere  
**xu jun** : NOW FOR THE LAST TIME LEAVE  
**hansol** : okay

5:33 pm  
# _jun ain't loyal_

 **hansol** :  
  
**hansol** : setting the scene!!  
**hansol** : he's coming in 2 minutes chRiSt  
**daddy josh** : unholy  
**hansol** : hope he likes itttttt  
**daddy josh** : dude why are you freaking out so much?  
**hansol** : well,,,,,,,  
**hansol** : we're dating, yes, but we've only had like, 2 dates before?  
**daddy josh** : what  
**hansol** : i'm dead serious  
**hansol** : that's all it took for us to start dating and then we just never had the time after we were official  
**hansol** : idk okay  
**daddy josh** : what is with our group and underlying secrets in relationships  
**daddy josh** : first wonwoo and mingyu babysat dogs without telling us, then hao and jun get a collab channel without notifying any of us, and now you're telling me that you and seungkwan have only gone on TWO dates before  
**papa cheol** : what is going on  
**daddy josh** : ohhhhhh the agony  
**daddy josh** : parent #3 needs a break  
**papa cheol** : kay  
**daddy josh** : I'll be taking a bath if anyone needs me  
**papa cheol** : i'll come join you later  
**hansol** : I WOULD VOMIT BUT SEUNGKWAN'S HERE  
**hansol** : ekekekekekekekkekekee  
**hansol** : damn he looks fine  
**hansol** : okay bye  
**xu jun** : sometimes i wonder for his mental health  
**papa cheol** : you been here the whole time?  
**xu jun** : joined in for the second half of the conversation but was too lazy to text into the gc so  
**papa cheol** : ah  
**papa cheol** : well i have a boyfriend waiting for me so  
**xu jun** : yeah you go enjoy that  
**xu jun** : im gonna go annoy wonwoo  
**papa cheol:** have fun  
**xu jun** : oh i will ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i LoV seVenTeEn'S nEw AlbuM oKay,,,FiGhT mE


	22. the last day of vidcon (disney day!!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> papa coups: last day of vidcon  
> papa coups: woot woot !  
> wen minghao: dear god  
> wen minghao: reading that just took 10 years off of my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sPicE

7:06 am  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **master mingyu** : holy shit i got the best sexing of my life last night  
**wen minghao** : "sexing"  
**master mingyu** : the aftershocks are making me lose vocabulary  
**wen minghao** : mmhm  
**hansol** : hey that makes two of us  
**hansol** :  
  
**hansol** : managed to sneak a pic  
**hansol** : LiKe hOw aM i SupPoSeD tO FUnCtiOn wHeN hE sEndS thiS to mE  
**hansol** : 

  
**master mingyu** : psh wow plain black underwear  
**master mingyu** :  
  
**master mingyu** : try me bitch  
**master mingyu** : wonu's the prettiest pink fairy in existence  
**hansol** : u have ur kinks, i have mine okay  
**daddy josh** : yeah no fighting over bottoms in the top group chat  
**master mingyu** : just gotta show off my baby  
**master mingyu** : no need to panic at the disco  
**xu jun** : did u actually just,,,,

8:34 am  
**papa coups** : last day of vidcon  
**papa coups** : woot woot !  
**wen minghao** : dear god  
**wen minghao** : reading that just took 10 years off of my life  
**wen minghao** : @jeonghan hyung n josh hyung get this disgrace to modern culture out of here  
**wonu's bf** : cheol hyung, aren't u pretty popular on youtube too  
**papa coups** : yea  
**wonu's bf** : then why aren't u more up ot date on slang terms and stuff  
**dad shua** : hey now  
**dad shua** : he doesn't need to be a cool dad  
**dad shua** : he's a fine dad now  
**momma hannie** : fine dad(dy)  
**dad shua** : not the time  
**momma hanni** e: sorry not sorry  
**papa coups** : T . T  
**wen minghao** : aight well anywyas  
**wen minghao** : when r y'all headin to disneyland?  
**wonu's bf** : oh whoops  
**wen minghao** : what now  
**wonu's bf** : i totally forgot that was today  
**wen minghao** : better hurry  
**wen minghao** : jun n i are already on the bus  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : bb fell asleep already ;3

8:42 am  
**wen minghao** : wtf jus happened  
**wen minghao** : i heard a loud crash towards the front o the bus  
**wonu's bf** : WE'RE HERE  
**wonu's bf** : JUST IN TIME  
**papa coups** : jesus you two  
**momma hannie** : why are you so late?  
**wonu's bf** : i was not aware that the trip was today  
**wonu's bf** : i also got...distracted trying to find my wallet  
**xu jun** :  
  
**xu jun** : DiStrAcTed trYiNg tO FiNd mY waLLeT  
**wonu's bf** : shut up  
**boo(ty)** : @wonwoo and hansol  
**boo(ty)** : have we got a treat for you ;)  
**hansol** : no my dick is still weak from yesterday  
**boo(ty)** : mmmm not sure that's how it works but okay  
**boo(ty)** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : after five years of begging i managed to get mingyu to wear this with me!!!   
 **boo(ty)** : wonwoo hyung how did u manage to hide the fact that mingyu is super thicc all this time  
 **mingyu's bf** : i think i just drooled  
**boo(ty)** : you'll see more in person ;)))))))  
**hansol** : hoLy shiT  
**boo(ty)** :

  
9:12 am  
**chan** :  
  
**chan** : the happiest place on earth!!!!!!  
**chan** : my favoritest place!!!!!!!!!!  
**docum** : chan let's go eat all the ice cream and sweets we can find!!!  
**chan** : yeah!!!!

9:13 am  
_the parents_

 **momma hannie** : someone better have an eye on them  
**papa coups** : on it  
**momma hannie** : thank you~~~  
**momma hannie** : now help me out with wrangling the rest of them josh  
**dad shua** : okay

9:25 am  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : fuck yessssss  
**momma hannie** : wait what  
**momma hannie** : how are u guys all the way over there  
**momma hannie** : u were just with us, like, two seconds ago  
**wonu's bf** : ...no, we've been gone a while  
**momma hannie** : dear god  
**wonu's bf** : why  
**wonu's bf** : where are u guys?  
**momma hannie** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : where tf is that  
**momma hannie** : carnation cafe look it up  
**momma hannie:** come meet us here after that ride, okay?  
**wonu's bf** : got it

9:26 am  
_the parents_

 **papa coups** : how goes parenting?  
**dad shua** : I think you can tell from hannie's texts  
**dad shua** : what about on your end?  
**papa coups** : ...  
**papa coups** : don't tell hannie but i bought chan and seokmin some food  
**dad shua** : SEUNGCHEOL  
**papa coups** : i can't help it !  
**papa coups** : you can't put me with the two purest children and expect me to not buy them a treat  
**dad shua** : hannie's going to be so pissed if he finds out  
**papa coups** : which is exactly why we shouldn't tell him  
**papa coups** : please shua  
**dad shua** : ...you're the worst parent ever  
**papa coups** : i'm weak for them okay  
**papa coups** : you and hannie are too  
**papa coups** : don't even try to deny that  
**dad shua** : okay, okay  
**momma hannie** : you guys do realize that i can see everything, right?  
**momma hannie** : this is the PARENT group chat  
**papa coups** : SHIT  
**dad shua** : whoops  
**momma hannie** : ...but it's okay because i have a weak spot for dk and chan too so  
**momma hannie** : and they deserve something for being such good children all the time  
**momma hannie** : i better not see all this behind my back stuff again though, alright?  
**dad shua** : yes  
**papa coups** : never again  
**momma hannie** : kay good  
 **momma** **hannie** : love you two, bye!!!!  
**papa coups** : jesus that scared me  
 **dad** **shua** : ...am I still alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is my disney lover bleeding through whOoPs
> 
> i was wondering if any of you guys want more of a certain couple??? that'll probably lead me into the next couple of chapters so pls lmk!!! (i promise i don't bite)


	23. disneyland pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> momma hannie: yeah yeah  
> momma hannie: it's nice having two boyfies  
> wen minghao: twice as many daddies amirite  
> momma hannie: hahahaha yeah no  
> dad shua: "daddy" or anything remotely close to the word is forbidden in the bedroom  
> papa coups: it reminds us too much of you guys

Mingyu smiles down at Wonwoo, teeth sparkling under the sun and cotton candy floss tinting his lips a dark pink. They had just gotten off of the ride, and due to Wonwoo's cuteness and ceaseless begging, they had stopped to get some cotton candy.

They're now standing underneath a tree, the little shade providing little to no protection from the unforgiving sun. _Although,_ Mingyu thinks, _I suppose I don't mind it. I'm always warm when I'm near Wonwoo._

Mingyu may live with Wonwoo and they may spend almost every waking hour together, but it's not often that Mingyu can admire his boyfriend like this--the gentle slope of his jawline, the kittenish shape of his lips, the glowing brown of his eyes with no trace of stress strewn across his features. He looks so, so happy like this--there's no impending doom of having to record and edit and upload, no vlogs, just them. Just the excitement for the day ahead. Mingyu feels his cheeks hurt from how hard he's smiling.

Too caught up in the cotton candy adorning his fingers, Wonwoo fails to notice Mingyu's staring and only continues to suck and lick the leftover sweet off of his fingers.

_Just like how he sucks and licks my--_

Mingyu shakes his head furiously. _Really not the time, Mingyu._

Wonwoo gives him a weird look, but he just smiles sheepishly. Wonwoo giggles, way used to Mingyu's antics by now. It's only been around fifty thousand times that he's caught Mingyu reenacting a drama with two characters, desperately attempting to bump his voice up to a higher register to mimic the female character.

"So, who do you think is a better villain, Hades from Hercules or Darth Vader from Star Wars?" Wonwoo smirks up at Mingyu, playfulness alighting his gaze. Mingyu inwardly sighs, his heart immediately growing soft for the man in front of him.

Only after a few moments of heart eyes does Mingyu realize that Wonwoo is still expectantly looking up at him. He shrugs. "Depends on what your definition of 'better' is."

"It's up for interpretation." Wonwoo leans his head on Mingyu's shoulder as they start walking, intertwining their hands. "I personally think that Darth Vader is better. Hades is there for humor as well as plot, where as Darth Vader is there for _evillness_ and plot."

Mingyu scoffs. "Yeah, no way. Hades tried to kill Hercules several times with his weird creature things."

"But Hercules is an animated movie. Those are just naturally more innocent, therefore the bad guy won't be as intimidating."

"But what about the whole 'Luke, I am your father,' thing?"

"What about it?" Wonwoo grins.

Mingyu pouts. "Well, it plays into his storyline and all that. He's a dad, shouldn't that count for something?"

"Not if he's a terrible one." Wonwoo finally lets a full blown smile take over his face as he realizes that he's won. His eyes crinkle up and he does a nose scrunch, knowing that Mingyu gets especially soft for that. _I've got him wrapped around my finger,_ Wonwoo chants in his head.

"Face it, Mingyu. I win."

"Shut up."

10:32 am  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : (●♡∀♡)  
**boo(ty)** : aw that's precious  
**momma hannie** : YOU TWO BETTER GET BACK HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND OR SO HELP ME I'M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE DOWN  
**mingyu's bf** : chill we're headed back now  
**dad shua** : the rest of you stop trying to go off on your own  
**dad shua** : I only gave vernon and seungkwan permission to leave  
**dad shua** : don't make me yell  
**wen minghao** : unfair  
**dad shua** : welcome to life  
**dad shua** : now come on we're going to space mountain  
**chan** : space mountain?  
**chan** : i wanna go!  
**docum** : i think we can meet them there if we run  
**docum** : will you guys save us a spot in line?  
**xu jun** : for sure  
**docum** : cool!!

Hot air swirls around them and rays from the sun beat down on people waiting in line to get on Splash Mountain.

"Ugh, this heat is killing me," Seungkwan bemoans. "Why does all the waiting have to take place _outside_ in the _heat_?"

Vernon grins. "I have a way to make it more bearable."

Seungkwan raises his eyebrow at that, crossing his arms. "Oh yeah?" Vernon nods, gripping Seungkwan by the waist and placing him on top of the railing. Seungkwan squeaks, arms shooting out to grip Hansol's biceps.

"You jerk," Seungkwan spits the moment he regains his bearings. "You could warn a guy." he mumbles, but his cheeks are flushed a pleasant pink and there's a hint of a smile splayed across his lips.

Hansol smiles as he places both of his hands on the bar on either side of Seungkwan's hips, happiness radiating from his skin.

"You're cute." he beams, his front teeth showing.

Seungkwan huffs. "You're cute too, I guess. That's why I'm dating you, after all."

"Hey now," Hansol cocks his head to the side, pouting. "That's not _all_ , is it?"

Seungkwan smiles fondly, wrapping his arms around Hansol's shoulders. "Of course not. I love you very much."

"I love you too." Hansol says with as much meaning as he can. Then, giving up on words, he tilts his head up to kiss Seungkwan. Just because he can.

6:30 pm  
**dad shua** :  
  
**dad shua** : look at my boyfriends being cute  
**secret twink** : cute  
**momma hannie** : yeah yeah  
**momma hannie** : it's nice having two boyfies  
**wen minghao** : twice as many daddies amirite  
**momma hannie** : hahahaha yeah no  
**dad shua** : "daddy" or anything remotely close to the word is forbidden in the bedroom  
**papa coups** : it reminds us too much of you guys  
**momma hannie** : ugh and it kills boners almost instantly  
**docum** : huh  
**docum** : I never knew that this was what went on in your bedrooms after hours  
**chan** : what?  
**docum** : CHAN SAVE YOUR INNOCENCE  
**chan** : d-dokyeom hyung?  
**docum** : GO  
**docum** : I COULDN'T SAVE MYSELF BUT I CAN SAVE YOU  
**docum** : *choke choke*  
**chan** : SEOKMIN HYUNG NOOOOOOO  
**docum** : end scene  
**docum** : good job channie!!!  
**docum** : your acting's getting better  
**chan** : thank you!!!  
**wen minghao** : m not even gonna question it  
**wen minghao** : okay but y no daddy kinks tho  
**wen minghao** : jeonghan hyung u missin out sonny boi  
**wen mingha** o: get in on the fun  
**momma hannie** : mm don't think so  
**boo(ty)** : where are you guys?  
**momma hannie** : up ur butt and around the corner  
**boo(ty)** : exCusE mE  
**momma hannie** : sry still in savage mode  
**momma hannie** : momma's back  
**boo(ty)** : please never say those two words together near me ever again  
**momma hannie** : i could be petty and say that i didn't SAY it i TEXTED it but i'm not that annoying  
**boo(ty)** : n-  
**boo(ty)** : no  
**boo(ty)** : i have no words for the amount of disappointment rn  
**momma hannie** : now u know how i feel everytime i see what i raised  
**wen minghao:** OUCH haahhaha  
**momma hannie** : ur next hao  
**wen minghao** : okayyyyy lol,,,,l,,,,  
**wen minghao** : dont kill me  
**boo(ty)** : run  
**wen minghao** : already halfway across america  
**momma hannie** : 9_9  
**momma hannie** : anyways, you guys coming for fireworks at the castle?  
**momma hannie** : the parents are treating everyone to funnel cakes  
**secret twink** : soonie and I are on our way

6:32 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **secret twink** : yes, the date went well  
**secret twink** : I could sense a wave of questions  
**wen minghao** : yey  
**momma hannie** : did you top again?  
**secret twink** : what no we didn't fuck on the second date  
**momma hannie** : u fucked him on the first  
**secret twink** : ...good point  
**secret twink** : but still  
**secret twink** : we're decent people  
**momma hannie** : i totally believe u  
**secret twink** : leave me alone

9:10 pm  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **soonyoung** :  
  
**soonyoung** : great way to end a beautiful night  
**hansol** : is that jihoon?  
**soonyoung** : yeah  
**master mingyu** : lol someone's lovestruck  
**xu jun** : and opening up  
**xu jun:** as in feelings  
**soonyoung** : yep <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor soonyoung T T they never let him live
> 
> guYs i'm so excited for christmas y'all better be ready for like hella soft christmas stuff because my favorite holiday is nEaRiNg (what's that? thanksgiving? idk her)
> 
>  
> 
> thank you all for reading and commenting!!! have a lovely day/night!!!


	24. the spider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonu's bf: AHA;LHAS;LKHA;EJK;LAEKJST ;LAKHT;LKSADHT  
> wonu's bf: FUASKDJAS;KTAKTJSA;DKJAS;EHT;ASKTEHJA  
> wonu's bf: EEWEEAEEEWEWERWERWEWEEWEWEWWKKWKWKWK  
> wen minghao: ,,,,,,what happennde  
> wen minghao: it's 3;30 n the fucking morning  
> mingyu's bf: we made our flight really early  
> mingyu's bf: also gyu hurry up and get out of the bathroom i need to pee  
> wonu's bf: SPSPSISIISPIDER

4:30 am  
**wonu's bf** : AHA;LHAS;LKHA;EJK;LAEKJST ;LAKHT;LKSADHT  
**wonu's bf** : FUASKDJAS;KTAKTJSA;DKJAS;EHT;ASKTEHJA  
**wonu's bf** : EEWEEAEEEWEWERWERWEWEEWEWEWWKKWKWKWK  
**wen** **minghao** : ,,,,,,what happennde  
**wen minghao** : it's 3;30 n the fucking morning  
**mingyu's bf** : we made our flight really early  
**mingyu's bf** : also gyu hurry up and get out of the bathroom i need to pee  
**wonu's bf** : SPSPSISIISPIDER  
**wonu's bf** :  
  
**wonu's bf** : IT'S SO BIGGGGGGG  
**wonu's bf** : IT'S BIGGER THAN MY HANDDDDDD  
**wen minghao** : mmmm ur hand is pretty big man - jun  
**mingyu's bf** : why did you lock the door  
**mingyu's bf** : you just trapped yourself in there with it  
**wonu's bf** : SSPIDER  
**mingyu's bf** : babe  
**mingyu's bf** : babe calm  
**mingyu's bf** : just unlock the door and let me in  
**wonu's bf** : HHHHHHHHHH  
**mingyu's bf** : there  
**mingyu's bf** : it's dead  
**mingyu's bf** : you can look up from your phone  
**mingyu's bf** : i flushed it down the toilet  
**wonu's bf** : ( ﾟヮﾟ)  
**wonu's bf** : my baby's the best!!!!!  
**mingyu's bf** : mhmmm  
**mingyu's bf** : now seriously get out i really have to pee  
**mingyu's bf** : also jihoon GET UP  
**mingyu's bf** : and wake up your boyfriend while you're at it  
**secret twink** : it's too early for thiss.  
**wen minghao** : wow u actually spelled somethin wrong  
**secret twink** : it's 3:30 am.  
**secret twink** : I'm allowed to have off days.  
**wen minghao** : more like off hours  
**secret twink** : mhhhhhh  
**wonu's bf** : wow i'm scarred  
**secret twink** : what

4:39 am  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **master mingyu** : ....soonyoung?  
**soonyoung** : YEP THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES  
**soonyoung** : CALL ME BABY BOY NO MORE  
**xu jun** : congrats on topping  
**xu jun** : welcome to the family  
**soonyoung** : thx bruh  
**master mingyu** : that's great  
**master mingyu** : just maybe....clean up before you fall asleep  
**master mingyu** : please dear god  
**soonyoung** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**soonyoung** : serves y'all right  
**master mingyu** : yeah yeah  
**master mingyu** : wait jun  
**master mingyu** : isn't your flight until later?  
**master mingyu** : why are you awake?  
**xu jun** : its too loud  
**xu jun** : too many ppl yelling  
**papa cheol** : wwwwwhat's going on who'se dying  
**xu jun** : no one's dying  
**xu jun** : soonie, jihoon, wonwoo, and mingyu are going back home  
**xu jun** : flight's in like,,,2 hours  
**master mingyu** : aaaaaand dad mode activated  
**papa cheol** : have a safe flight  
**papa cheol** : call us when you get back  
**papa cheol** : kay have fun  
**master mingyu** : dad mode deactivated  
**xu jun** : lol  
**master mingyu** : someone tell jeonghan hyung and joshua hyung to reward coups hyung later  
**master mingyu** : he's a good dad  
**master mingyu** : and don't you dare try to make this sexual, jun  
**master mingyu** : i know u  
**xu jun** : damnit  
**soonyoung** : mingyu wonwoo's calling for u  
**soonyoung** : better go  
**master mingyu** : k  
**xu jun** : have fun on the flight~  
**soonyoung** : i'll try ;)  
**xu jun** : ooh snap

6:20 am  
**secret twink** :  
  
**secret twink** : what the fuck the sun's not even up yet why are we here  
**wonu's bf** : suck it up buttercup  
**momma hannie** : hey at least it's pretty  
**mingyu's bf:** why you up so early?  
**momma hannie** : I always have to be up to send my kids off  
**momma hannie** : plus both shua and cheollie snore really loudly  
**wonu's bf** : you snore loudly too  
**momma hannie** : but mine's continuous and kinda quiet  
**momma hannie** : there's is just like loud and sporadic  
**momma hannie** : I've probably lost 10 years of sleep because of them  
**wonu's bf** : get ready for 10 more years of sleep lost  
**wonu's bf** : won snores s o loudly  
**mingyu's bf** : shush

8:31 am  
**mingyu's bf** : we just landed  
**mingyu's bf** : we're all getting coffee now  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : try and guess who's who  
**boo(ty)** : o h m y h e i g h t d i f f e r e n c e  
**wonu's bf** : they're pretty cute, ngl  
**wen minghao** : hey wonwoo you know what you should get  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : it's full of protein  
**wen minghao** : and it's sssuuper delicious  
**boo(ty)** : only if you eat pineapples, in my opinion  
**wen minghao** : come at me  
**wen minghao** : Q(｀⌒´Q)  
**momma hannie** : no fighting  
**momma hannie** : I may not be physically there but I'm there in spirit  
**boo(ty)** : what an attitude  
**momma hannie** : excuse me  
**boo(ty)** : yeah i said it  
**momma hannie** : well ding dong your opinion is wrong  
**momma hannie** : and my notes say to get out  
**momma hannie** : Bitch  
**boo(ty)** : Fuck You  
**mingyu's bf** : guys guys  
**mingyu's bf** : caramel macchiato or green tea latte?  
**xu jun** : caramel macchiato  
**mingyu's bf** : kay thanks  
**xu jun** : ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending--i didn't really know how to finish it lol??
> 
> soonhoon are probably gonna become official™ in the near future...(wink wonk)
> 
> have a lovely day/night!!


	25. the switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boo(ty): ya know everyone calls you donkey kong for dk but imma be original and cool  
> boo(ty): so ur gonna be donkey kong's best frien  
> boo(ty): d  
> xu jun: gotta appreciate dem frien  
> xu jun: ds  
> wen minghao: jun, u know ur ma best frien  
> wen minghao: d right?  
> boo(ty): FUCK OFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTS X AMAS WAS SO LIT Y'ALLLLLLLL

2:30 pm

  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** : aaaand somehow we made it onto a beach  
**momma hannie** : ?  
**mingyu's bf** : i have no idea how we got here don't ask okay  
**dad shua** : shouldn't you all be back at home by now?  
**mingyu's bf** : dunno  
**mingyu's bf** : kinda just happened  
**dad shua** : .....well  
**dad shua** : have fun, I guess  
**mingyu's bf** : wE'Ve bEeN hErE foR thREe HouRs  
**wen minghao** : Y'ALL CHECK THIS OUT  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : guess who finally got their bf t get a glo up  
**wen minghao** : im turnin into the sugar daddy ive always dreamed of bein :')  
**wen minghao** : he looks v fuckable n v sexy rn tho ngl  
**papa coups** : there were so many abbreviations in that text I'm not going to even try to decipher that  
**dinnertime** : spicyyyyyy  
**xu jun** : oky thes nailss r hella annoyign to text withh  
**wen minghao** : ....but?  
**xu jun** : but i reallly liek them  
**xu jun** : it's like asmr bit alll the time  
**xu jun** : they"re so funm to cllick  
**wen minghao** : u should trust me more hun  
**boo(ty)** : looks hot  
**boo(ty)** : nice color choice, jun  
**wen minghao** : thxx  
**wen minghao** : i rreaally wnated to gof or somthineg exoticc  
**secret twink** : eXXoTiCc  
**wonu's bf** : she's thicc & exoticc  
**wen minghao** : how goes first class kwan  
**boo(ty)** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : very nice, as you can see  
**boo(ty)** : (˵¯͒〰¯͒˵)  
**wen minghao** : ugh luckyyyyyy  
**dinnertime** : •̀.̫•́✧  
**dinnertime** : boy, these seats sure r snazzy  
**docum** : r00d

_boo(ty) has changed docum's name to diddy kong_

**boo(ty)** : ya know everyone calls you donkey kong for dk but imma be original and cool  
**boo(ty)** : so ur gonna be donkey kong's best frien  
**boo(ty)** : d  
**xu jun** : gotta appreciate dem frien  
**xu jun** : ds  
**wen minghao** : jun, u know ur ma best frien  
**wen minghao** : d right?  
**boo(ty)** : FUCK OFF

_mingyu's bf has changed diddy kong's name to daddy kong_

**daddy kong** : please no more  
**danceismylife** : hA  
**daddy kong** : soonyoung istg  
**daddy kong** : i know all of your dirtiest secrets and i will not hesitate to spill them to everyone right here right now  
**secret twink** : Soonyoung ran off to hide but I apologize on his behalf  
**daddy kong** : uh huh he better run  
**daddy kong** : also seungkwan you better drag yo ass to my place as soon as i land becasue we're filming a new vid for our gag channel  
**boo(ty)** : aite  
**momma hannie** : OH  
**momma hannie** : that reminds me

3:31 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **momma hannie** : gotta make a minor change  
**boo(ty)** : ?

_momma hannie has added dad shua to the group chat_

**momma hannie** : cheollie and i topped josh last night so i thought i'd add him in since this isn't the first time  
**wen minghao** : oh well isnt that just lovely  
**wen minghao** : welcome to the better side of hell  
**dad shua** : hello  
**boo(ty)** : woah woah woah we gotta have some standards in here at least  
**boo(ty)** : shua i'm sorry but u can't sit with us  
**boo(ty)** : u gotta be sassy n naughty and u don't have what it takes  
**mingyu's bf** : but i'm not sassy or naughty  
**momma hannie** : mmm  
**boo(ty)** : uh  
**wen minghao** : u can be both, u just have to be in a certain mood  
**wen minghao** : shua is just...  
**wen minghao** : pure  
**boo(ty)** : too pure  
**momma hannie** : now how did i know that this would happen  
**momma hannie** : welll, time to bring out the big guns  
**momma hannie** : shua go  
**dad shua** : uh  
**dad shua** : okay I bottom a lot more than you guys think  
**dad shua** : just sometimes I like to have a cock stuffed in my mouth while I'm being fucked from behind  
**wen minghao** : FucKinG chOke  
**boo(ty)** : okay nvm  
**mingyu's bf** : my throat and ass go out to you man  
**boo(ty)** : yeah he's filthy enough  
**boo(ty)** : welcome!!  
**wen minghao** : o shit  
**wen minghao** : wait...  
**wen minghao** : does this mean that if i topped jun recently then i have to give myself the boot  
**boo(ty)** : how recently?  
**wen minghao** : ...last night  
**boo(ty)** : oh  
**boo(ty)** : uh....i guess so  
**boo(ty)** : here add jun in and i'll kick u out  
**wen minghao** : aight

_wen minghao has added xu jun to the group chat_

_boo(ty) has removed wen minghao from the group chat_

**xu jun** : wh-  
**xu jun** : oh  
**xu jun** : is this because i  
**momma hannie** : yeah

3:45 pm  
_#jun ain't loyal_

 **master mingyu** : okay guys don't kill me but

_master mingyu has removed xu jun from the group chat_

_master mingyu has added wen minghao to the goup chat_

**master mingyu** : hao threatened me okay  
**papa cheol** : oh  
**daddy josh** : that's okay I'm in both group chats at the moment  
**wen minghao** : excuse me wot does the group chat name say

_master mingyu has renamed the group chat to "fuCK"_

**master mingyu** : what name  
**master mingyu** : i don't think it's weird  
**wen minghao** : "fuCK" u  
**hansol** : how did u get to this point anyways  
**wen minghao** : well its simple  
**wen minghao** : jun sent me a picture and i was boned  
**master mingyu** : what picture?  
**wen minghao** :  
  
**wen minghao** : his collar straps up to our bedframe and chokes him while i fuck his brains out  
**wen minghao** : just so y'all kno cause i new u were wonderin  
**master mingyu** : ....gross  
**master mingyu:** just gross  
**wen minghao** : :)))))))  
 **wen minghao** : hey ur the one who asked

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone, i'm back ꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡
> 
> my head has been to shit places recently, causing my absence from ao3 and my break. i just want to thank you all for commenting, kudosing, and reading. looking back at old comments and receiving feedback really helped me get back into a healthy mindset~ i never expected this fic to get so far!!
> 
> hopefully, though, i'll be able to get ahead with my long thanksgiving break!
> 
> (also don't tell me jun isn't a smol baby boi he is literally the gentlest man to live)


	26. the asking out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> danceismylife: jihoon surprised me with gifts and asked me to be his boyfriend  
> danceismylife: i cried the first song on the track is for him. by troye sivan  
> danceismylife: tHat'S oUr SoNg  
> boo(ty): aw hun  
> danceismylife: he also handwrote me a letter

7:52 am  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **xu jun** : aight i kno i've only been in this gc for a little while but i have something spicy to contribute  
**boo(ty)** : spill that good shit  
**xu jun** :   
  
**momma hannie** : oOh  
**dad shua** : nice one  
**xu jun:**  (｡’▽’｡)♡  
**boo(ty)** : okay several things:  
**boo(ty)** : 1) pfffft what work he literally stays at home  
**boo(ty)** : 2) lol nice reply  
**xu jun** : 1) he was at jungkook's house filming a video and he likes to call it "work" so that he doesn't go into a downward spiral of contemplating all of his life choices  
**mingyu's bf** : um relatable  
**xu jun** : 2) aw thx <3  
**mingyu's bf** : cute

1:56 pm  
**danceismylife** :  
  
**danceismylife** : :')  
**chan** : *gasp*  
**daddy kong** : a bitch is shook  
**danceismylife** : jihoon surprised me with gifts and asked me to be his boyfriend  
**danceismylife** : i cried the first song on the track is for him. by troye sivan  
**danceismylife** : tHat'S oUr SoNg  
**boo(ty):** aw hun  
**danceismylife** : he also handwrote me a letter  
**chan** : let us see!!!  
**danceismylife** : it's private  
**danceismylife** : but i will give you one line  
**danceismylife** :  
  
**secret twink** : soonyoung stop exposing me  
**wen minghao** : exPOSEDDDDD  
**wen minghao** : sry i saw my moment n i had to take it

  
_boo(ty) has changed secret twink's name to secret romantic ooh lala_

  
**secret romantic ooh lala** : what is it with you and giving me ridiculously long names  
**boo(ty)** : caus it's funny  
**secret romantic ooh lala** : I hate you. So much.  
**boo(ty)** : sending love and kisses :)  
**secret romantic ooh lala** : taking the love and kisses and flushing it down the toilet to the pits of hell :)))  
**boo(ty)** : r00d ass  
**boo(ty)** : appreciate my love and kisses i don't give them out lightly  
**dinnertime** : yeah trust me i would kno

2:03 pm  
_fuCK_

 **master mingyu** :  
  
**master mingyu:**  god baby can’t wait to have u in my arms again  
**master mingyu** : SHIT WRONG GROUP CHAT  
**master mingyu:** YOU SAW NOTHING WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING  
**wen minghao** : what a nerd  
**hansol** : who even uses "u" when sexting  
**master mingyu** : me  
**master mingyu** : don't judge me  
**wen minghao** : boi u really are somethin  
**daddy josh** : I haven't even glanced at the picture but do I really want to?  
**papa cheol** : no, not at all  
**hansol** : lol btw does anyone no a place where i can get eye surgery  
**hansol** : I'd like to replace my iris  
**wen minghao** : thats not how it works dumbass  
**wen minghao** : ur thinkin of the cornea  
**wen minghao** : the iris just adds color to stuff  
**wen minghao** : right?  
**wen minghao** : some1 back me up on dis  
**daddy josh** : y'all are dumb  
**daddy josh** : like actually idiot material  
**wen minghao** : ay i actually got that write  
**wen minghao** : i jus googled it  
**daddy josh** : *right  
**daddy josh** : also you should know that information regardless  
**daddy josh** : didn't you go through middle school?  
**wen minghao** : im a youtuber for a living do u think i give a fuck about my education  
**daddy josh** : just saying  
**wen minghao** : i aint needin ur sass okay  
**wen minghao** : i got two videos to film/edit by tom an I havent even started  
**master mingyu** : time management is a thing  
**wen minghao** : LEAVE ME ALONE D':  
**wen minghao** : i miss the other gc  
**wen minghao** : theyy appreciated me  
**soonyoung** : well I'm sorry if we aren't welcoming to a SNAKERAT  
**wen minghao** : wh-  
**wen minghao** : i am so offended  
**wen minghao** : did-did u jus call me  
**wen minghao** : a  
**wen minghao** : snakerat  
**soonyoung** : that's what you get for reading my PERSONAL LETTER  
**soonyoung** : no one was supposed to see it but me ;(  
**wen minghao** : o  
**wen minghao** : miss me wid dat gay shit LOL  
**master mingyu** : oh and there goes all of minghao's chances at maintaining his pride  
**master mingyu** : ooh home run  
**master mingyu** : straight out the ballpark  
**wen minghao** : IM SORRY AITE  
**wen minghao** : I DONTEVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT SAID  
**wen minghao** : ALL I REMEMBER WAS THAT IT WWAS SOME CHEESY LOVVE SHIT  
**wen minghao** : we good?  
**soonyoung** : yes :3  
**wen minghao** : kay kohl  
**wen minghao** : *kay kool  
**wen minghao** : stupid fuckin jun istg  
**wen minghao** : he keeps on making slang terms he KNOWS i use autocorrect to stupid stuff  
**master mingyu** : truly unfortunate  
**wen minghao** : ik  
**master mingyu** : ayyo why you talkin behind my back huh - jun  
**wen minghao** : and y'all call me the snakerat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!!! hope you're all having a lovely saturday~
> 
> yesssss for soonhoon becoming official!!
> 
> also the end of this fic might be on the horizon in the distant future depending not the response i receive from this chap,,,i'm just wondering tho--how you guys would want this to end??


	27. remember the boyfriend games?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> momma hannie: someone tell me why I had to wash cum covered sheets this morning  
> momma hannie: I'm looking at you soonyoung  
> danceismylife: SHIT FUCK  
> danceismylife: sorry what ew who would do that omg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated names:  
> seungcheol - papa coups/papa cheol  
> jeonghan - momma hannie  
> jisoo - dad shua/daddy josh  
> jun - xu jun/junnie  
> wonwoo - mingyu's bf/stick  
> soonyoung - danceismylife/soonyoung  
> woozi - secret twink  
> mingyu - wonu's bf/master mingyu  
> minghao - wen minghao  
> dk - daddy kong  
> hansol - dinnertime/hansol  
> seungkwan - boo(ty)  
> chan - chan

10:45 am  
 **momma hannie** : someone tell me why I had to wash cum covered sheets this morning  
 **momma hannie** : I'm looking at you soonyoung  
 **danceismylife** : SHIT FUCK  
 **danceismylife** : sorry what ew who would do that omg  
 **dad shua** : soonyoung  
 **danceismylife** : I'M SORRY OKAY  
 **danceismylife** : HOW CAN I NOT HAVE A WET DREAM WHEN JIHOON COMES OVER TO ME WHILE I'M EDITING A VIDOE AND WHISPERS IN MY EAR "I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TOMORROW, DADDY"  
 **danceismylife** : S U R P R I S E  
 **wen minghao** : ten bucks its a lap dance  
 **xu jun** : or jihoon will wear heels  
 **boo(ty)** : or lingerie ;)  
 **xu jun:** wonky winky let's get kinky  
 **danceismylife** : ...jeonghan ur gonna have to wash my sheets again tonight  
 **dinnertime** : ples dont be too loud i need my sleep  
 **danceismylife** : no promises  
 **dinnertime** : ur even starting to sound like jihoon jesus  
 **danceismylife** : awh :)  
 **dinnertime** : ...i never said that was a good thing  
 **boo(ty)** : no, jihoon's a good influence  
 **momma hannie** : haha very funny  
 **papa coups** : ???  
 **mingyu's bf** : how?  
 **boo(ty)** : just think about it  
 **boo(ty)** : soonyoungs grammar has gotten way better ever since he and jihoon started dating  
 **wen minghao** : probably because jihoon gives soonyoung grammar lessons while riding him or something  
 **wen minghao** : "for every correct answer i'll bounce once"  
 **dad shua** : lol  
 **mingyu's bf** : that's oddly specific  
 **wen minghao** : hahahahhahshhshhhhhhhhhhh  
 **wen minghao** : i know nothin  
 **wonu's bf** :  
  
 **wen minghao** : stop usin ma youtuber mutuals against me  
 **wonu's bf** : ;P  
 **wen minghao** : mingyu stfu ur literally dating a stick  
 **boo(ty)** : BAHAHAHAHA

_daddy kong has changed mingyu's bf's name to stick_

**boo(ty)** : that's funny cuz if wonwoo is a stick then minghao hyung, hate to break it to you but you're a piece of paper  
 **wen minghao** : kay m fine w that cuz then i can paper cut u  
 **wen minghao** : trippin ass bitch  
 **daddy kong** : honestly I would stop this but I'm so tired ;;  
 **chan** : it's okay hyung  
 **chan** : we can power through!!!  
 **chan** : stay positive!!!!!  
 **chan** : we're the moodmakers of the group!!!  
 **boo(ty)** : exCusE yOu  
 **danceismylife** : what about gag trio™?  
 **wen minghao** : kwan shut up u marshmallow  
 **daddy kong** : what even  
 **dad shua** : is that considered an insult?  
 **dinnertime** : at least marshmallows taste good  
 **wonu's bf** : good point  
 **wonu's bf** : speaking of marshmallows, i make a mean smores  
 **papa coups** : ...good for you, mingyu  
 **wonu's bf** : thanks dad  
 **papa coups** : no  
 **wen minghao** : rejecteddddd  
 **boo(ty)** : LISTEN TO DDD BY EXID IT'S SO GREAT  
 **boo(ty)** : *a psa  
 **dad shua** : ...?  
 **wonu's bf** : lol okay

11:57 am  
 **stick** : seungkwan u ass  
 **boo(ty)** : that's my name, yes  
 **stick** : u got gyu hooked on ddd and now he keeps on shaking his ass in my face  
 **wonu's bf** : what you don't like my lap dance?  
 **stick** : i don't think putting ur butt in my face with clothes on constitutes as being a lap dance  
 **dinnertime** : constitution?  
 **dinnertime** : wat does tha thave to do with anthing  
 **secret twink** : constitute, you dumbfuck  
 **dinnertime** : hey i'm from new york okay  
 **dinnertime** : we have different accents  
 **secret twink** : seungkwan  
 **boo(ty)** : yes  
 **secret twink** : is Hansol high right now  
 **boo(ty)** : no idea  
 **wen minghao** : prolly  
 **chan** : that's not good  
 **chan** : vernon hyung, smoking's not good for you!!!  
 **xu jun** : 420 whatcha smokin  
 **dinnertime** : weed lol  
 **boo(ty)** : WAIT WHAT  
 **dinnertime** : im kidding im kidding  
 **dinnertime** : i just looked up the definition of constitutes  
 **dinnertime** : im dumb okay  
 **dinnertime** : im also not high

12:04 pm  
 _bottoms up ladies_

 **momma hannie** : for the love of god can someone make sure that he's not actually on drugs rn  
 **boo(ty)** : already halfway there and ready to give his ass a good whoopin  
 **dad shua** : bless your soul  
 **boo(ty)** : just makin sure i'm not dating a crusty ass bitch  
 **dad shua** : ...okay yeah

12:34 pm  
 **xu jun** : hey guys remember the boyfriend games?  
 **wonu's bf** : oH YEAH  
 **momma hannie** : i totally forgot about that lol  
 **xu jun** : didnt we say we would continue it when we got back?  
 **dad shua** : well it's only been two days since we got back  
 **wen minghao** : damn u rite  
 **xu jun** : so we continue it?  
 **wen minghao** : yis  
 **boo(ty)** : what's the next round going to be?  
 **boo(ty)** : I VOTE KINKINESS  
 **boo(ty)** : A KINK ROUND EVERYONE THINK ABOUT THAT  
 **stick** : isn't that just  
 **stick** : everyday?  
 **xu jun** : well i mean we could up the ante a lil bit  
 **wen minghao** : mmmmmm  
 **dinnertime** : i like the sound of thattt  
 **momma hannie** : u children best be ready to be scarred  
 **momma hannie** : cause me and cheol have really been enjoying getting frisky with jisoo lately ;)  
 **secret twink** : can we wait a bit for this please

12:56 pm  
 _bottoms up ladies_

 **boo(ty)** : don't chicken out on us  
 **secret twink** : I'M NOT OKAY  
 **secret twink** : just give me time  
 **secret twink** : I have to prepare and everything  
 **xu jun** : ohhohohohoh  
 **xu jun** : don't forget to use condoms  
 **xu jun** : and lube  
 **xu jun** : stop by my place if u need them  
 **secret twink** : ...I'm good, thanks  
 **xu jun** : aw cmon man  
 **xu jun** : wee have a wild assortment of lubes oer here  
 **xu jun** : for example  
 **xu jun** : bacon, cookie dough, and adam & eve  
 **boo(ty)** : ADAM & EVE FLAVORED LUBE PWAHAHAH  
 **stick** : what does that even taste/smell like  
 **xu jun** : idk  
 **xu jun** : clean?  
 **xu jun** : the only time we used it was when we were dressed up as a sexy version of adam and eve for halloween one year and we thought it would b funny okay  
 **xu jun** : do we get a point for that  
 **xu jun** : in the kinky games  
 **momma hannie** : kwannie  
 **boo(ty)** : ...  
 **boo(ty)** : ugh fine  
 **stick** : wait you've got to be shitting me  
 **stick** :  
  
 **stick** : this is an actual thing???  
 **dad shua** : well it's not adam and eve flavored but it's .  
 **dad shua** : made?  
 **dad shua** : by adam and eve?  
 **xu jun** : whatever y'all can debate this i'm gonna go celebrate wid minghao overour point  
 **xu jun** : HA suckers  
 **stick** : :)  
 **xu jun** : what the FUCK WONWOO  
 **stick** : you were being a little shit and you were also running down the hallway  
 **stick** : and the timing and placement were just right  
 **stick** : so i tripped you  
 **xu jun** : ;( my ass hurts  
 **stick** : good now you can complain to minghao  
 **xu jun** : i hate best frends  
 **stick** : ur loss, not mine

1:05 pm

_stick has added junnie to a group chat_

**stick** : jk u know i love you right  
 **junnie** : ofc  
 **junnie** : <3 thx for checking though  
 **stick** : :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone. i've returned after a long time ^^'
> 
> firstly, i'd like to thank everyone for your kind and supportive words for my friend's health. she has made a quick recovery and is now up on her feet again, and i'm extremely relieved. 
> 
> if you would like an explanation for my absence, i had to take a break from everything for a while as a result of jonghyun's passing. being a fan of shinee and hearing of the news hit me very hard and i found it difficult to plug myself back into the online world so quickly after his leaving. even now, it's uncomfortable for me to talk of it and i know that this is also the case for many shawol's out there. i pray that if any of you are fans as well that we stick together. anyways, as you can tell it really got to my head. hence, i had to take some breathers and found myself wanting to stay away from updating this fic for just a while longer. 
> 
> being disconnected has helped me to regain my senses and i am once again making a final change to my updating schedule (i apologize for all the changes, truly ^^' i'm quite bad at this) and i will be updating this fic once a month from now on. however, i will also be working on and updating other fics alongside that, as i have been wanting to spend some more time on those so stay tuned for more au's!! 
> 
> overall though, i would like to thank you all for reading, kudosing, and commenting. the response i got from this fic has brightened my life by a substantial amount and i really enjoy chatting with you all in the comments!! i never expected this fic to gain the popularity that it has and i'm consistently astounded by the feedback. i'm excited for the future and i'm ready to start this year right!! thank you again if you have bothered to read all of this and have a lovely morning/night~~


	28. and meanie are in the lead!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> momma hannie: ugh fine okay what if i give you an incentive  
> chan: what payment are we talking about here?  
> momma hannie: ;)))) pics  
> dad shua: the snake makes itssssss reappearance  
> momma hannie: very funny, shua

1:37 pm  
**momma hannie** : channie?  
**chan** : yes?  
**momma hannie** : who are the three most hottest people you know?  
**chan** : oh geez  
**chan** : i can't pick!!!!!  
**chan** : all of you are so,,,,,,,!!!!!  
**momma hannie** : :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
**chan** : but if i HAD to pick, i guess i would pick seokmin, seokmin, and seokmin!  
**daddy kong** : awh thanks channie~  
**chan** : ^ . ^  
**momma hannie** : ugh fine okay what if i give you an incentive  
**chan** : what payment are we talking about here?  
**momma hannie** : ;)))) pics  
**dad shua** : the snake makes itssssss reappearance  
**momma hannie** : very funny, shua  
**chan** : what pics?  
**xu jun** : dont ask dear god please  
**momma hannie** :  
  
**momma hannie** : special edition pics ooooooOoooOoh  
**momma hannie** : you get to see photoshoot pictures of hot pieces of shit over a month early!  
**stick** : wow hurrah hurrah  
**momma hannie** : stfu sticc in the ass  
**xu minghao** : HAHA  
**stick** : r00d  
**momma hannie** : anYWAYS how do you guys like the pics???  
**momma hannie** : oh ik we're hot thanks tho  
**dinnertime** : no one said anything?  
**momma hannie** : go away let me have my imaginary moment  
**daddy kong** : you guys look great!!  
**momma hannie** : FINALLY  
**momma hannie** : see you kids could learn from him  
**momma hannie** : what a pure kid  
**daddy kong** : this has turned weird creepily quickly  
**momma hannie** : wanna see more of the photoshoot?  
**chan** : !!  
**chan** : sure!!  
**momma hannie** : okay, okay just ONE more  
**momma hannie:** cause you guys insist  
**momma hannie** :  
  
**momma hannie** : look at my bbys bein all soft awh  
**papa coups** : love you too, hannie  
**dinnertime** : hey anyone else hear the sound of parents being disgusting  
**wen minghao** : ye  
**wen minghao** : honestly a lil revolting if u ask me  
**dad shua** : oh be nice kids  
**wen minghao** : sry shua  
**dad shua** : mhm

2:11 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_

 **mingyu's bf** : look what came in the mail~~  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**mingyu's bf** :  
  
**xu jun** : holy nutter  
**boo(ty)** : 2 POINTS TO MINGYU+WONWOO IN THE KINK GAMES  
**boo(ty)** : which ((ouch)) puts them in the lead and bumps hao+jun into second place  
**xu jun** : hey how come ur deciding the points  
**boo(ty)** : cause i thot of the idea obvs  
**xu jun** : i call bs  
**daddy josh** : looks nice, wonwoo  
**daddy josh** : I'm surprised you would go for something so...showy?  
**daddy josh** : but nevertheless, it looks fun  
**boo(ty)** : pfft that'll sure be an interesting day in bed  
**secret twink:** please let us know before you do that  
**mingyu's bf** : got it

2:45 pm  
**momma hannie** :  
  
**momma hannie** : WE ARE ON SCHOOL GROUNDS, JUN  
 **xu jun** : and?  
 **xu jun** : my bf has a gr8 ass  
**boo(ty)** : spEaKing of asses

2:47 pm  
_lovey dovey_

 **kwan** :  
  
**kwan** : point for us in the kink games ;)  
**hansollie~** : hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2:50 pm  
**boo(ty)** : ahem  
**boo(ty)** : sorry had business matters to tend to  
**boo(ty)** : point for me and vernonie in the kink games though!!  
**papa coups** : how do we know you aren't lying?  
**boo(ty)** : do you really wanna see  
**papa coups** : ,  
**papa coups** : actually HAHA you're right forget I asked  
**boo(ty)** : check ya lipstick before ya come for me  
**dinnertime** : seungkwan u better hurry up and take responsibility for this boner u gave me  
**wen minghao** : wrong chat u bonehead  
**dinnertime** : . ha  
**dinnertime** : i said what i said where i wanted to say it  
**secret think** : okay that's just flat out disgusting  
**dinnertime** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**dinnertime** : not my problem  
**secret twink** : well it kind of is  
**xu jun** : oOh killem  
**dinnertime** : and here i am suffering with blue balls  
**boo(ty)** : I''M COMING GEEZ DICKWAD  
**dinnertime** : dickwad? where?  
**dinnertime** : cuz i certainly aint gettin the d  
**dad shua** : alright hansol, we get it  
**dinnertime** : just need to make a point here  
**dinnertime** : no person should leave their boyfriend with blue balls  
**chan** : what are blue balls?  
**dad shua** : oh my God  
**xu jun** : pfft nerd u capitalize god  
**dad shua** : (as you should)  
**xu jun** : um fucc no  
**xu jun** : yo @ chan just urban dictionary it ma dude  
**momma hannie** : don't you dare lee chan  
**chan** : aa;nt  
**chan** : o kay  
**papa coups** : poor soul  
**papa coups** : i know how you feel son  
**momma hannie** : geez you guys act like i'm the devil reincarnate or something  
**papa coups** : uh,  
**secret twink** : that's because you are.  
**danceismylife** : you kind of are?  
**sticc** : you are lol  
**xu jun** : jeonghan, sorry but you are literally satan in his purest form  
**dad shua** : you're just a little scary, hannie  
**dinnertime** : just a tad  
**boo(ty)** : um what are u talkin about jeonghan is a fox, wolf, and snake all in one  
**wonu's bf** : Super Satan 666  
**wen minghao** : HAHHAHAA eat dirt jeonghan hyung  
**daddy kong** : he's scary when he wants to be  
**chan** : only a little though!!  
**momma hannie** : i  
**momma hannie** : can't believe all of you  
**momma hannie** : i am Offended  
**dinnertime** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
**momma hannie** : oh lay off  
**dinnertime** : see? sccary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all!! i'm excited to announce that i will be uploading new chapters and works during this month!! i'm very excited and although they won't be updated regularly, i think this will be the start of something new and exciting!!
> 
> (one of the series i will be starting will be for prompts, so if you would like a oneshot for one of the ships in this fic, please leave the au and ship in the comments!!)
> 
> thank you and have a wonderful day/night~


	29. hannie appreciation month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> papa coups: everyone this month is hannie appreciation month if you don’t agree get the fuck out  
> boo(ty): whomst the fuck—  
> wen minghao: who decided this  
> daddy kong: I thought this was a democracy??  
> papa coups: this is a dictatorship shut up  
> dad shua: **we’ve overthrown the government

12:31 pm

 **papa coups** : everyone this month is hannie appreciation month if you don’t agree get the fuck out  
 **boo(ty** ): whomst the fuck—  
 **wen minghao** : who decided this  
 **daddy kong** : I thought this was a democracy??  
 **papa coups** : this is a dictatorship shut up  
 **dad shua** : **we’ve overthrown the government  
 **dad shua** : cheol, be nice  
 **papa coup** s: i do what i want  
 **papa coups** : i’m the one in charge here  
 **dad** **shua** : funny, that’s not what you were saying last week when we had you tied up to the bedpost  
 **boo(ty)** : DEAR HEAVENS AND ALL THAT IS HOLY WHY  
 **chan** : what did i do to deserve this ;-;  
 **daddy** **kong** : JOSHUA  
 **daddy kong** : YOU’VE TAINTED THE HOLY TRINITY  
 **dad** **shua** : it was bound to happen some time or another  
 **dad** **shua** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
 **dad** **shua** : we’re going out for a date night today though  
 **stick** : same  
 **stick** : not as in with them but like i’m going on a date too  
 **stick** : like right now  
 **xu** **jun** : aw cute  
 **stick** : eh not really  
 **stick** : we tried to go to some fancy restaurant but mingyu apparently didn’t make reservations  
 **stick** : so now we’re stuck outside  
 **stick** :  
  
 **wonu’s bf** : how was i sup posed to know that you have to call before coming in???  
 **wonu’s** **bf** : don’t all restaurants have walk-in options???  
 **wen** **minghao** : not the 1 that u went to headass lol  
 **stick** : shut up minghao  
 **stick** : gyu, you’re cute  
 **secret** **twink** : it’s the thought that counts  
 **xu** **jun** : ooh

_xu jun has changed stick’s name to thicc sticc_

**xu** **jun** : didnt kno u’d have such nice thighhs  
 **wen** **minghao** : i wud yell butt agreed  
 **thicc** **sticc** : thanks?  
 **secret** **twink** : honestly would it kill you to use punctuation and proper spelling every once in a while  
 **secret** **twink** : because of you two I’ve had to learn the slang of the young ones  
 **secret** **twink** : and that’s gross  
 **dinnertime** : aint you a youtuber?  
 **secret** **twink** : yeah but it doesn’t really count  
 **secret** **twink** : I don’t do a lot of one on one talk with my fans  
 **boo(ty** ): why not???  
 **secret** **twink** : I’m a producer  
 **boo(ty)** : ?????????????  
 **secret** **twink** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
 **secret** **twink** : the math makes sense somewhere  
 **papa coups** : you’re starting to sound like soonyoung  
 **papa** **coups** : it’s unsettling  
 **chan** : FUN FACt  
 **chan** : couples that have been together for a long time tend to develop the same smile so their laugh lines end up looking similar when they’re old  
 **chan** : isn’t that so cute!!!  
 **momma hannie:** what the fuck are all of you doing up its only noon  
 **dad** **shua** : yeah and we're going to get your lazy butt out of bed  
 **dad** **shua** : come on up and at 'em  
 **dad** **shua** : you better get come out here  
 **dad** **shua** : I can see you reading these texts!  
 **momma** **hannie** : shhhhhhhhh

12:57 pm  
 _fuCK_

 **papa cheol** :  
  
 **papa** **cheol** : come on guys tell me this isn't the best idea you've ever seen  
 **papa** **cheol** : TELL me shua and i aren't the greatest boyfriends  
 **wen** **minghao** : okey  
 **wen** **minghao** : thas the worst idea ever  
 **master** **mingyu** : you and shua are the worst boyfriends  
 **wen** **minghao** : yeahhhh tag team lets gooooo  
 **wen minghao** : jkjk  
 **wen minghao** : v v nice  
 **wen** **minghao** : 11/10  
 **soonyoung** : +100 for aesthetic and prettiness points  
 **soonyoung** : like damn  
 **soonyoung** : can i get me some bfs like that  
 **papa** **cheol** : tyty  
 **papa** **cheol** : also no soonyoung sry you cant  
 **soonyoung** : ;(  
 **papa** **cheol** : this is a service only available to my two loves <3  
 **wen** **minghao** : barf  
 **wen minghao** : gross thatsso cute  
 **papa** **cheol** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5:06 pm  
 **papa** **coups** :  
  
 **papa** **coups** : date flop ?  
 **papa** **coups** : I think not !  
 **boo(ty** ): great job sweetie  
 **dad shua** : he's really proud of himself  
 **dad** **shua** : it took him 2 hours to think of that  
 **dinnertime** : very nice  
 **dinnertime** : a+ for effort you kno  
 **dinnertime** : mayb 0/10 for follow thru?  
 **xu** **jun** : ouch  
 **dinnertime** : (•_•)  
 **dinnertime** : ( •_•)>⌐■-■  
 **dinnertime** : (⌐■_■)  
 **momma** **hannie** : what have i raised  
 **boo(ty)** : what am i dating  
 **xu** **jun** : i think its prettty funni  
 **secret** **twink** : FUNNI  
 **secret** **twink** : these are getting progressively worse  
 **secret** **twink** : I AND Y AREN'T EVEN CLOSE TO EACH OTHER ON THE KEYBOARD  
 **wonu's bf** : eh their in the same row  
 **danceismylife** : close enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i said i would update every month lmao
> 
> also remember when i said i would start uploading new fics like,,,2 months ago lmaooo
> 
> ((i'm actually really sorry can u hear my screams))


	30. uwu

Blue-tinted light filters from the small screen precariously balanced between two of Hansol's fingers, distracting the other occupant of the bed.

"Mmf--babe, turn your phone off. Get some sleep for once. It's our off day." Seungkwan grumbles sleepily.

"Shit--sorry, I didn't realize you'd woken up." Hansol quickly turns his phone brightness down, turning to glance over his shoulder at his boyfriend--Seungkwan had wanted to be the big spoon the previous night. His cute kitten lips are curled upwards, cheek squished up against Hansol's back.

Hansol's heart swells ten times bigger.

Seungkwan grunts upon feeling Hansol turn to look at him, slowly bringing his arms to wrap around the taller's torso. Warm hands slide up and over his stomach, tickling his neck and rubbing his adam's apple. Hansol chuckles at the wandering fingers, lightly swatting at Seungkwan. The amount of sweetness filling the bedroom could color the air, the room already feeling full and fuzzy and reminding Hansol of the softness of summer.

"Babe, just let me send this email. Then I promise we can cuddle."

A humph sounds from behind him, but Seungkwan settles down after that so Hansol figures he's in the clear.

He's about to tap send to a business email when dainty fingers tiptoe up his forearm and flap his hands away from his phone, leaving Hansol staring down at his empty hands. Seungkwan grabs his phone, carelessly tossing it in the general direction of their nightstand. Hansol smiles fondly, shaking his head.

"You couldn't have waited two more seconds?" Hansol sighs, turning over. His telling smile shines brighter than the sun itself, and he grins so _so_ affectionately down at his lover. He gazes down, content to just lay there and watch Seungkwan's eyelids flutter every so often.

"Stare much?"

Hansol startles, flushing. He buries his face in Seungkwan's neck, becoming more sheepish when Seungkwan huffs, flicking his forehead. Hansol can feel his lips press onto the top of his head moments later, lips curling into a smirk.

"I like you in the mornings. You're so cute and shy."

Hansol's only response is burying his face deeper into Seungkwan's neck, breathing in deeply. He sighs, sated and feeling the happiest he's ever been.

"Actually, I like you all the time--I don't know what I'm saying."

Hansol smiles, peeking open his eyes and squinting up at Seungkwan. He looks surreal, the morning light peeking in from the window to wash over his features in a soft light that makes him look angelic.

"Well I like you all the time too." Hansol murmurs, shifting to get more comfortable. "Now go back to sleep. I'm sure in the morning we'll forget we ever had this conversation, get up, and eat cereal while watching some k-drama and we'll be the cute domestic couple we are."

Seungkwan pauses for a second, smiling down at Hansol before turning to properly spoon him again.

They both fall back asleep like that, limbs entangled in linen bedsheets with their hair a mess and warms ablaze with a love that they know will last them a lifetime.

10:00 am

_soonyoung has started a group chat with jihoonie_

**soonyoung** : I miss you ;-;  
**jihoonie** : I miss you more <3  
**soonyoung** : no you don't silly  
**jihoonie** : I'm on a bus on my way to film my video this week and I'm seriously about to puke everywhere thanks to you  
**jihoonie** : I DO  
**jihoonie** : DON'T FIGHT ME  
**soonyoung** : I WILL  
**jihoonie** : throw the first punch then  
**soonyoung** : (ง •̀_•́)ง  
**soonyoung** : (ง •̀_•́)—o ♡♥♡♥♡❣  
**jihoonie** : uwu  
**jihoonie** : i feel gay  
**soonyoung** : ùwú  
**soonyoung** : you are no match for my love punch  
**jihoonie** : u sound like a nerd  
**soonyoung** : *urs truly  
**soonyoung** : wait incorrect grammar?? and uwus????  
**jihoonie** : only for you <333  
**soonyoung** : ily  
**jihoonie** : ilyt 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kay but seungkwan's hands are actually so pretty tho??? like???
> 
> edit: sorry there was an ending to this chap but it got cut off!! it's all fixed now tho :3


	31. guess what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonu's bf: okay i crave a boon  
> wen minghao: what boon  
> secret twink: how do you even know what that word means  
> wonu's bf: BOON  
> daddy kong: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i seriously want to thank all of you again for reading and giving this fic the support you have!!
> 
> i have moments in the day where i log onto here and i'm just like "oh yeah that's my fic and oh MY GOD" so tytytytytytytytytytyty!!!! ilygsm
> 
> <333333333

10:23 am

  
**wonu's bf** : okay i crave a boon  
**wen minghao** : what boon  
**secret twink** : how do you even know what that word means  
**wonu's bf** : BOON  
**daddy kong** : ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )  
**secret twink** : ...  
**secret twink** : okay?  
**wonu's bf** : i need an idea for a video/gift/surprise  
**wonus' bf** : i wanna do somethin special for won  
**momma hannie** : cute  
**wonu's bf** : basically he's going away for a couple of months cause he got invited to do this youtube red series and i'm emo  
**chan** : :((((((((  
**wonu's bf** : but this is kind of a goodbye gift for him  
**wonu's bf** : cause i'll miss him and i love him  
**xu jun** : im literally sobbing  
**papa coups** : why don't you give him a memory?  
**papa coups** : something he can remember back on and keep in his mind  
**wen minghao** : you could maybe add in some treats or something  
**wen minghao** : jus think of liek a classic d8  
**wonu's bf** : well i was thinkin nite undr the stars them  
**secret** **twink** : I think you all have spent too much time away from school  
**wonu's** **bf** : mr 2  
**xu** **jun** : WHO'S MR 2  
**wonu's** **bf** : me tpoo  
**wonu's** **bf** : me to  
**wonu's** **bf** : me ttoooooooo  
**wonu's** **bf** : me too  
**secret** **twink** : THAT TOOK YOU FOUR TRIES GYU  
**secret** **twink** : FOUR  
**wonu's** **bf** : (๑◕︵◕๑)  
**secret** **twink** : it's okay I know you're smart  
**danceismylife** : what's up my dudes  
**wonu's** **bf** : planning a date, let you know how it goes  
**daddy** **kong** : give us updates!!  
  
12:00 pm

  
**wen** **minghao** :   
  
**wen** **minghao** : its time bois  
**wen** **minghao** : pullin out the big guns today  
**daddy** **kong** : why?  
**wen minghao** : cuz ive gone too long being sex deprived  
**papa coups** : and how long is that  
**wen minghao** : a week  
**chan** : a week????  
**dad shua** : reasonable enough  
**dad shua** : trust me channie, you get introduced into a whole new world of sexy times when you get into a relationship  
**xu** **jun** : pfffffffft  
**xu jun** : "a whole new world of sexy times"  
**xu** **jun** : someone should remake "a whole new world" from aladdin   
**xu** **jun** : s e x y  t i m e s  edition  
**wen minghao** : stop im gonna pee  
**danceismylife** : and this is exactly why you two are together  
**chan** : adorable  
  
1:02 pm  
_bottoms up ladies_  
  
**mingyu's** **bf** : gyu's taking me out today  
**mingyu's** **bf** : so i'm wearing:  
**mingyu's** **bf** :  
  
**boo(ty)** : spiCEEEEEEEEEE  
**boo(ty)** : me likey  
**boo(ty)** : +1 in the kink games!!  
**xu jun** : someon'es gettin the good D  
**xu jun** : specially when gyu's lookin like this  
**xu jun** :  
  
**momma hannie**  : mmmm that be a whole snacc rite there  
**mingyu's bf** : FUCK  
**dad shua** : language  
**mingyu's** **bf** : NO  
**mingyu's bf** : HOLY SHSSHHSHSHSHHITTTT  
**mingyu's** **bf** : i need assistance  
**mingyu's bf** : help  
**secret** **twink** : is he okay  
**xu** **jun** : i thinkk i broke him hA  
  
8:36 pm

  
**wonu's** **bf** : the sun took forever to set but we did it!!  
**wonu's bf** :  
  
**thicc sticc** : we also have news now  
**thicc** **sticc** :  
  
**momma hannie** : ...  
**wonu's** **bf** : surprise???  
**danceismylife** : HOLY SHIT  
**danceismylife** : YOU GUYS  
**wen minghao** : hahahahah we gotchu gud  
**dinnertime** : you in on this????  
**dinnertime** : congratulations, btw!!  
**wen minghao** : ofc hes been talkin my ear of for weeks  
**wen minghao** : anyways i take it went well so conrats won n gyu!!!!  
**boo(ty)** : yeah congratulations!!!  
**momma hannie** : awh how wonderful!!!  
**dad shua** : congratulations from the parents :)  
**papa coups** : v v proud  
**chan** : CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!  
**daddy kong** : ^^^^ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**danceismylife** : ^^^^^^^^^ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**secret twink** : congrats :D  
**xu jun** : <33333 sending love and good luck!!!!  
**thicc sticc** : uwu thank you everyone!  
**wonu's bf** : we appreciate it :DDDDDD  
**xu jun** : oof holdup  
  
_xu jun has changed wonu's bf's name to wonu's fiance_  
  
**xu jun** : !!!  
**wonu's bf** : my heart just melted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE Y'ALL
> 
> you didn't see that coming did you????? ((jk jk idk))
> 
> on a side note the call call call mv came out a while ago but I NUTTED SO HARD JESUS FUCC-- (wonwoo, jeonghan, and jihoon need to tone down the rudeness ok ;-; ((but!! jun!! and!! minghao!! need!! more!! lines!!!!!)))  
> on a side side note congrats to bts!!! love yourself: tear is a bop and i is a bitch crying in the club because of it  
> on a side side side note (whew i'm on a roll here) pristin v's get it is a whole bop as well so go listen to it if you haven't!!
> 
> okey i will see you all next month!! have a lovely day/night~~~~~


End file.
